My intentions the past few days have been to write and play catch up, but I've been sicker than a dog. I've spent the last three days on the couch. I actually feel dumber for all of the VH1 celebrity make-ups, breakups, weddings, and gossip that I've been watching. It's more than one man should be exposed to. When I get sick like this, I don't have the attention span for movies or anything that requires any kind of retention. I end up feasting on trash TV. I may be giving my body the rest it needs, but my mind is turning to mush. Enough of the VH1. I've been home from work the past two days. A lot of people would go into the office feeling like this, but I've always been weird, wanting to be sick in private and not spread my germs, deal with office stress, or morning traffic. I'm at the point now though, that I'm feeling just healthy enough that I'm getting stir crazy. Yeah, cue the violins. Anyway...that's where I've been. Hope the end of this month is treating you well.

Tuesday's Playlist: Vertigo 2005 // U2 Live From Chicago

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I spent most of my Thanksgiving day today with my family. It feels like the family's getting bigger, as the boys are growing up so quickly and my brother now has a steady girlfriend. This is the first Thanksgiving that we actually have the typical "kids' table" off to the side for Derick and Brett. Our family is maturing and changing. Traditions are being set.

It's been a year of trials and tribulations on many accounts, although this year definitely was better than the last. Somehow, we are all still here, sticking together like a family should during those rough patches. I'm lucky to have a family as close as I do.

On my drive home tonight with a tummy stuffed full of the traditional turkey, potatoes, and stuffing, I thought for a moment how the year started with the tsunami and about the victims of hurricane Katrina. Today we also talked about of a few of the local tragedies that have been making headlines and some of the horrific things that people have to deal with. If you ponder on it too much, it makes your heart bleed. When I think about all horrible things that life, Mother Nature, and humanity throw at the human spirit, I feel extremely fortunate for all that I have and for a family that's always there by my side. I know many people on this day who don't have those things or have had them violently stripped away.

Life is tough. Life has thrown its share of hurdles my way. But things could be so much worse. So much worse. I'm extremely thankful for all that I have and how lucky I truly am.

I hope you and yours have a wonderful Thanksgiving and remember what it's truly all about. Happy Thanksgiving.

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P.S. Check out this article that was in the Appleton Post Crescent, one of our local papers, last night. It's about a few families, including my own, who have elaborate Christmas displays and how tonight they'll be lit tonight to kick off the holiday season. In the newspaper version of the article, they also had a picture of Dad's house and our lights display. The reporter called Dad one day this week, kind of as a follow-up to last year's story. It's a nice little article and really made all of our work out there worth it! I will post more about this story tomorrow or at a later date. Later.

I got home past 12:30 last night and my ass is dragging today. But it's dragging in that good kind of way the morning after a great party or awesome concert. Boy, have I been to my share of stadiums and arenas this year! But with that said, I'm calling it a night...

Tuesdays Playlist:

1. Willie Nelson - Countryman

2. Bob Marley and the Whalers - Legend

3. U2 - How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb

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P.S. I find it ironic that one of the main songs they still use at the Packer games is Gary Glitter's "Rock and Roll Part II." That guy's in deep shit!

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I still have about a 75 archived images to add the to the galleries that currently exist in the journal pages of this site before I start culling my real sketch books, portfolios, and closets for work that's been previously unposted. I like the subtle changes I've added to this site, really making it a gallery the many different aspects of my life.

G-Man Ink now has has galleries of my artwork, photography, snap shots, and even music on this thing. How cool is that?! This website becomes a greater reflection of who I am every day.

Check out Book 3 of my sketch book galleries.

That's all for now. Have a great weekend!

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The software also came bundled with a program called Soundtrack. Soundtrack is a higher-end version of GarageBand, which is what I used to make all of my music. When I was using GarageBand this summer, I kind of ran out of loops, felt like I'd used the program to its fullest. They want you to buy all of these expansion packs, but I just didn't want to spend the money. But now with Soundtrack, it's like GarageBand but on steroids. Soundtrack must have over 5000 loops to use. I went from maxing out on what I could to being totally overwhelmed with creative possibilities. The sky and my skills are the limit.

Last night I was up later than I should be on a work night. I started about three or four new songs and stopped around 11:00 when I hit a creative block. It took me until at least 12:30 to fall asleep. I had so much creative energy flowing through me, it wouldn't let me sleep. When my muses hit, when creativity strikes, it's like a sexy adrenaline flowing through my body, making me feel incredible alive and aware. There's nothing more satisfying than creating something out of nothing. It's electric, beautiful, exciting, and sexy as all hell. It's life.

I suppose many people get married and have kids to fulfill this creative urge. Perhaps for me, my art, in whatever form, is a compensation for that. Some day, I certainly want to get married and have kids, but for now, this will have to do. For now, this creativity is a pretty amazing thing. I've always been a creative guy; it's the number one thing I value about my life. It's how I define myself.

I know I go on at length about Apple computers. When I think of how much they've allowed me to express myself and push my type of creativity, it's no wonder I gush as I do. So now, with this additional video and sound editing software on my system, I have more tools that allow me to realize and fulfill my creative urges. With that, of course, also comes more of my time being diverted from other things I should be doing! Oh well, it's all about priorities, right?

Oh well, that's all for now.

Friday's Playlist:

1. U2 - How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb

2. U2 - Live from the Popmart

3. Vertigo 2005 // U2 Live From Chicago

4. Carrie Underwood: Some Hearts

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My work day ended with me locking my keys in my running car on this blizzardy day. My friend Joel got them out with a coat hanger after we worked on it for about 30 minutes in the ice and snow. Cold and agitated, my drive home took twice as long because of the weather and slippery roads. They're icy as hell and the natives haven't remembered how to drive in the stuff yet. For my few non-midwest readers out there, consider yourself lucky. Today the temps were in the 20s and continue to drop. It's been snowing all day. Winter has arrived.

Despite the shitty beginning (no pun intended) to my day and the shitty ending to my work day, I can't say it was a bad day. It was a Wednesday in all its hump-day glory.

Tonight I managed to catch U2's performance of "The Wanderer" on a Johnny Cash tribute special. I've never seen them perform that song before; it's always been Johnny Cash's voice on the song. That was quite the treat. I have it on videotape; now I need to figure out how to turn it into an mp3. Sheryl Crow, Martina McBride, Norah Jones, and Alison Kraus gave some great performances too. Kid Rock, on the other hand, really needs to go away.

That's all for now. I just really wanted to mention the few off-notes to my day and a couple musical cues that balanced things out.

Enjoy my doodle from a staff meeting today. Later.

I went out walking
Through streets paved with gold
Lifted some stones
Saw the skin and bones
Of a city without a soul
I went out walking
Under an atomic sky
Where the ground won't turn
And the rain it burns
Like the tears when I said goodbye
Yeah I went with nothing
Nothing but the thought of you
I went wandering

from The Wanderer by U2

Wednesday's Playlist:

1. Madonna: Confessions on a Dance Floor

2. Alanis Morisette: The Collection

3. Cinecast #53: Dawn of the Duke

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I feel like I've just attended that May show again. Relived my past. Tripped through time and your wires. I actually have the feeling inside of my belly... that exhausted but exhilarated sense I have after immersing myself completely into a concert. How unbelievably cool is that? What an awesome piece of concert memorabilia... Even better than the real thing? Tonight, the highlights of the show for me were "Where The Streets Have No Name" and "Original of the Species." Wow wow wow.

I need to go to bed.

Tuesday's Playlist:

1. Carrie Underwood: Some Hearts

2. Damien Rice: O

3. Alanis Morisette: The Collection

4. Vertigo 2005 // U2 Live From Chicago

5. Madonna: Confessions on a Dance Floor

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The images in the sketch books appear chronologically, from the bottom right to the top left, in the order that they were originally posted. Book 1 consists of images posted from April 2, 2003 through October 7, 2003. The newly added Book 2 consists of images posted from October 8, 2003 through February 10, 2004. I will continually add more books until I have all of the drawings from this site added into the sketch book library. After that point, I plan on adding additional art work from the endless supply of drawings and sketch books that I have around me from all different phases of my life.

The images appear in the order that they were placed, not the order they were created. Initially, the idea for this site was to post all of the images from my old books with accommodating journal entries. As the site evolved, as I evolved, I still saw nothing wrong with posting the old drawings, many of them over 10 years old, right alongside new art work.

I like the idea that if you look at the drawings, old and new all mixed together, it somehow tells a story. This site, of course, is my history and life story (which, I suppose, could be argued to be two different things). Just like the sketches that are mixed up from the past to the present, so is anybody's verbal history. There's no way a person can go from point A to point Z with deviating through time. For me, life, time, history and my personal growth and development can only be told in a non-linear fashion. The past and the present constantly collide to form who we are today.

I've always found sharing my sketch books with people to be a very intimate thing, but something I greatly enjoy. I love being able to quickly glance at my visual history, in all of its strange formations, and now be able to share those books with the larger internet audience at hand. These are indeed virtual sketch books. What a f'in cool concept. My snap shot pages, or anything that people do in Flickr or Buzznet, are the same concept. Virtual photo albums. How cool is that?

Speaking of my snap shot pages... There are a couple new images posted from the sixth annual Splatterfest that was held in Madison, WI this past weekend. Splatterfest is a gathering that a group of my friends do once a year, usually a little closer to Halloween, where we eat, drink, and watch gory movies commenting and mocking the movies the entire time. Think of Mystery Science Theater but more splattery! The past few years, it's even turned into a costume party. If you notice in those snap shots, there are no pix of me. I was a lame-o and didn't dress up. I reused my Frodo costume for Halloween this year; none of the people at the party I went to saw that costume. The attendees of Splatterfest 2003 all saw the costume back then. I didn't want to do a repeat or have the time to reinvent the wheel. Oh well, there's always next year. This year's party was, once again, a total blast. Splatterfest 2005 was a total success.

On an entirely different note (although fitting in with the initial theme of artistic evolution), I have to thank Riri for getting me an advanced copy of Madonna's Confession on a Dance Floor (Don't worry, I still plan on buying a legit non-stop one-track version of it tomorrow on iTunes). There's been a lot of hype surrounding this album. And man, it lives up to it. Gosh, it's so good. It's an hour long of non-stop dance music, what Madonna does best. I don't know how she does it, release after release. I predict that this album will be a huge hit and inspire a resurgence of dance music on the radio. I've been a fan of hers since the beginning and have always enjoyed her evolution. Ray of Light is one of my favorite songs and albums of all time. People always count her down and out but then she comes back like this and kicks some more ass (For the record, despite the bad rap it got, I think American Life is an awesome album.). I used to really love dance music, but as I get older, have been getting a little bit more into rock. This new album, though, may pull me back. As I've been listening to it (at high volumes, I might add), I actually find myself really grooving in my seat. This is going to be great to dance and work out to. Thanks again Riri; the advanced copy made my weekend!

That's all for now. Evolve people.

Monday's Playlist:

1. Madonna: Confessions on a Dance Floor

2. Madonna: American Life

3. Madonna: Music

4. Madonna: Ray of Light

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P.S. To my liberal friends out there, try this little test: Go to google.com. In the search field, type in "failure". Push the "I'm feeling lucky" button. Enjoy. :P

This morning, my friend Brandon, who moved to Tuscon this past spring, sent me the above photo of the Arizona sunset he captured the other night. Usually, I only post graphics or images that I've created or shot myself, but this had to be the exception. This photo is perhaps the most breath-taking sunset I've ever seen. It's one of those photographs where I can honestly say I wish was mine. After all, we all share the same sky, don't we?

After composing a surprisingly dark post the other night, after really just having nothing more than a bad day, I thought it would be a good balance to throw some color and warmth on these pages. After talking extensively about the darkness within myself, I thought it would be a nice change of pace to look up to the heavens for the majesty and grace that can exorcise any darkness we hold. A beautiful sunset can make the greatest of problems insignificant. Tonight's image represents the redemption one's heart and soul are capable of achieving.

Thanks, Brandon!

Wrestle with your darkness
Angels call your name
Can you hear what they are saying?
Will you ever be the same?

from Isaac by Madonna

Friday's Playlist: U2 - How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb

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I stayed up way too late last night watching "Shattered Glass." Not a bad movie, but, unfortunately, I fell asleep about 30 minutes before it was over. That realization made me none-to-happy when I woke up this morning, groggy from staying up too late, urked that I still missed the end.

I was tired today on this cold, blustery, November Wisconsin day. That's all it took to set me off. I slept on the proverbial wrong side of the bed, somebody pissed in my Wheeties, and my undies were in a bundle.

It was one of those days where everything and everybody drove me nuts. All I wanted to do was shut myself off in a bubble, change my surroundings, crank some music, and be by myself. Work in the cube farm, of course, doesn't allow that luxury.

As I was driving home, still in my pissy mood grimacing like a spoiled kid who didn't get his way while feeling sorry for myself, I realized that this was the first time in a long time that I've felt this way. And today, it was really for no good reason.

Sure, I've had my days where some political things at work have set me off. But for the most part, things have been good. I think back to a year ago, when my fall felt so incredibly dark and helpless. What's changed?

For starters, I had some things last year at my job that were weighing me down. With a change in my attitude those issues managed to resolve themselves. It's amazing how much mental baggage from work resides in our homes.

Another reason I was so depressed a year ago was the damned election and the results that sideswiped 48% of us. How did this clown get voted back in? Sure, nothing with GW has changed, really. Three more years (and counting). If you ask me, his administration is going even deeper to hell in its handbasket. The war, torture, 2000 American soldiers dead, Katrina, FEMA, homeland security, the CIA, the cost of fuel, etc. -- it's a dark time for our country and I'm worried about its future. But for the sake of being able to sleep at night, I've learned to shut it off, put the blinders up. I have to, just to cope.

I no longer listen to Air America. It got me too angry about what's going on in this world. I rarely watch Real Time With Bill Maher anymore either for the same reason. I just get too worked up and upset. Perhaps I'm doing a bit of an ignorance is bliss type of thing, but in these crazy times, that's what it takes. I just want to be left alone in my quiet little bubble...

I know last year at this time, I was still having a having a really hard time with everything going on with my dad's health. He hasn't gotten any better; that's pretty obvious looking at the man. It's as if he's aged 10 years in the past year and a half. He's a different person altogether. The shell of who he once was. Life where my family is concerned is drastically different now. I guess we're all just learning to cope better. I'm learning to, at times, not dwell upon the harsh truths that our future has in store. A future that I see when I look at his weathered face. For now, we just live for the moment and look forward to the good days. And there are times, many times, where the good days do out-weigh the bad.

Just writing these words down now, it's incredible how much I realize that I shelter myself from these truths. I deal with it by not dealing with it. That quiet little bubble. But then I wonder, if some of this is the solace one finds with a subtle form of acceptance of those harsh truths? I don't know. Probably some weird combo of them both.

I think back to the darkness that last fall presented me. First is was Dad's condition, then my job, the election, all of the funerals I went to, the death we had to deal with at work, and then, sigh, yes, even a girl broke my heart. It felt like it was one thing after another just piling up on my back, weighing me down -- pushing me down.

But somehow, I don't feel that way right now. Life has a natural resolve. An eventual reboot switch...

And my bad day today, that goddamned pissy mood of mine, made me realize how much better my spirits have been, how much better life has been. Things seem a little bit easier these days. Who'd-a-thunk that a bad day would have made me see all of the good? The good days far out-weigh the bad.

I'm amazed at the depths of darkness that we can feel, the places that our minds go if we allow them. I'm grateful that as I learn to deal with certain things, my coping with them has put my darkness in check. Do we all struggle with this darkness? Do we all have a dark side we struggle to keep in check?

That's all for now.

Papa went to other lands
And he found someone who understands
The ticking, and the western man's need to cry
He came back the other day, yeah you know
Some things in life may change
And some things
They stay the same

Like time, there's always time
On my mind
So pass me by, I'll be fine
Just give me time

from Older Chests by Damien Rice

Wednesday's Playlist:

1. Cinecast #52: Welcome to the Suck

2. Damien Rice - O

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A week after MTV and VH1 ridiculously butchered the broadcast over the fourth of July holiday, they rebroadcast almost 10 hours of it uncut. I wonder just how much hate mail they got? I've seen the setlist for tomorrow's release, and it looks like the editors are back at it. On the positive side, it's a four-disc set. Target has it for $24.99. But why slice up some of these awesome performances? I want the entire Keane and Dido sets, not just one song by each. Make it a six-disc set and put on the whole thing! I'd pay the extra few bucks. Oh well. Even when you're talking famine relief, market research pulls all the strings. Somebody get Geldof on the phone.

When I think of the setlist, all of the highlights for me come from the UK shows: U2, Paul McCartney, Coldplay, Keane, Annie Lennox, Madonna, Robbie Williams, Sting, Elton John, The Who, Pink Floyd, etc. What did the states have to offer? Will Smith, Snoop Dogg, Bon Jovi, Destiny's Child, and the Black Eyed Peas. God, why does American music suck so bad?

Looking at the original Live Aid, I can see the Destiny's Childs (Children?) of the era: Status Quo, The Style Council, Ultravox, Spandau Ballet, Paul Young, Allison Moyet, etc. Man, that's only on the first disc. Why do I think "Let's Get It Started," "Independent Women pt I," and "Getting Jiggy Wit It" will have us rolling our eyes in 20 years?

Heck...yesterday.

Of course, Destiny's Child did some great ads for McDonalds, and I love the Black Eyed Pea's Best Buy commercials.

Super-size it for world hunger. Buy the service plan for debt relief.

If you ask me, although Live 8 was cool, nothing even came close to U2's "Bad," Bowie's "Heroes," or Queens entire set from the July 13, 1985 show. I am still pumped though. Madonna's entire set was incredible, U2, or course is always great, and it's really worth the price of admission for the Pink Floyd reunion alone.

That's all for now. I think it's time to check out some Status Quo, "Rockin' All Over The World." My brain is fried and I'm beginning to get sarcastic.

Check out the Live 8 website to see what it's all about.

Wednesday's Playlist:

1. Damien Rice - O

2. Beck - Sea Change

3. Keane - Hopes and Fears

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When I was younger, my weekends were pretty consumed. I'd hit the bars at least on Friday and Saturday nights, once in awhile even making the most of a Thursday night. As I get older, though, my weekends just aren't like that anymore. I go through my really busy spells, like I did at the end of the summer, where I'm out of town for weekends in a row or busy both nights. But this fall so far, my weekends have been pretty mellow. I have the occasional weekend where there's nothing going on, but usually it's something, just not the bars three nights in a row.

On the rare occasion that I happen to be home on a Friday night, which has been a bit more lately, I've somehow started my own little tradition, without really trying. After a long work week, I enjoy coming home, ordering take-out from a local bar and grill, and just vegging out in front the boob tube, a good movie, or working on this site. It's as if Friday nights are mine - my time to play without having to worry about the consequences of getting up early for work in the morning.

The take-out I order is from this relatively new sports bar down the street, on the other side of bridge. Usually, I like to mix things up a bit and try new places. But in the little town that I reside, there are only a few options for easy, greasy food, within walking distance or a short drive without getting on the highway. There are no fast food joints or chain restaurants in the immediate vicinity. Basically, I have a gas station that makes pretty good pizzas, the burrito place a block away, a Subway, the family-owned grocery store that has some kick-ass deep fried chicken, and the bar down the street. Not much to choose from if I don't think to stop on the way home from work and pick something up.

As I placed my order tonight, something became painfully obvious to me. Here's how the phone order/conversation went:

"Hi. I'd like to place an order for take-out please."

"Could I have a name for that?"

"Sure, it's Gary."

"What can I do for you tonight, Gary."

"Um...I'd like the chicken strips and..."

"...the 'tiger paws'?" she asked, completing my thought.

"Um..yeah."

Then she giggled on the phone as she tried to tell me that it would take six minutes before my order would be ready (Point of clarification: Tiger paws are their version of criss-cut fries. The bar is called the Tiger's Den and the local football team are the Wrighstown Tigers).

Gosh.

I'm that guy. The single guy who calls every Friday night and orders the same damn thing. I've stayed home way too many Friday nights and have ordered greasy chicken strips and tiger paws from that stupid sports bar that used to be non-smoking but changed back once the locals had their way. I've fallen into my Friday night rut. Granted, some of it is because I'm a victim of my surroundings, but some of it is just 'cuz I'm 34, single, and falling into a Friday night rut (which, part of me, of course, is really beginning to enjoy!).

As I was sheepishly driving home, feeling as if this bag of grease was giving me dirty looks, I realized the same thing happened to that bitchy red-haired chick, Miranda, on Sex and the City with the Chinese restaurant right around the corner from her apartment. Yeah, I'm so Sex and the City.

I just don't have quite as many one-night stands as those whores.

As I was scratching my head at the surreal little snub I had at the local establishment, I turned on my car radio, since the drive was too short to hook up the iPod. Somehow, the radio show Delila was on. She read some sob story pertaining to the holidays, which ended with a "Merry Christmas," and then played a Christmas song.

WTF?

Maybe I shouldn't even leave the house.

It's always something....

Friday's Playlist:

1. U2 - How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb

2. U2 Chatcast Show 02

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P.S. Check out the links page on my site. I've added a bunch of cool links to some cool new blogs and websites that I've been getting into lately. Give 'em a shout and tell them G-Man sent ya!

May the force be with you.. There, I said it!

Wednesday's Playlist:

1. SNL 25 - The Great Musical Moments vol. 1

2. SNL 25 - The Great Musical Moments vol. 2

3. U2 - How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb

4. U2 Chatcast Show 03

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That's all for now.

Tuesday's Playlist:

1. Ebert & Ropert - Reviews for the Weekend of October 29 - 30

2. @U2 Podcast #4

3. John Williams - Star Wars Episode: I The Phantom Menace

4. John Williams - Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

5. John Williams - Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

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P.S. Be sure to check out the October archives. Things are moving full-speed ahead on my site. Readership is up, I feel a real inspiration where my blogging and writing is concerned, and I've been really getting into posting snap shots from my personal life that otherwise would have never found their way onto this site. I managed to get an inspired podcast up and running a week or so ago. I even got my stuff linked to a drawing blog, which really inspired me to draw whenever possible, even if the images aren't final works of art. When one door opens...