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In looking through a year and a half's worth of post, I noticed that the following titles were all swiped from a U2 song or album title or lyric: "Electrical Storm," "Summer Wine," "Walk On," "The Hands That Built America," "Dream Out Loud," "All That You Can't Leave Behind," "The Fly," "Zoo TV," "One Love," "Kite," "Stuck In A Moment," "A Big Idea That's Our Of Control," "Wake Up Dead Man," "The First Time," "Beautiful Day," "Some Days Are Better Than Others," "Wild Horses," "After The Flood...." "All The Colors Came Out," "Wide Awake In America," "Vertigo," "All Because Of You (Too)," "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own," and tonight's post, "Swinging To The Music." The quote "After the flood, all the colors came out," on my home page is a direct line from "Beautiful Day." The quote "Every artist is a cannibal..." on my About page underneath the drawing of me (copied from American Gothic, by the way; I'm a hack through and through!) is from "The Fly." There's a handful of photos that I've named after U2 songs on this site and a shitload of quotes from Bono or U2 lyrics that appear amongst many of my posts. The last two graphics I've posted have even been inspired by the book that came with the special edition version of their new album How To Dismantle And Atomic Bomb. U2 is everywhere on this site. But in going through my posts, I also noticed a handful of John Lennon, Beatles, Prince, and Michael Jackson references. I've always been one to embrace the influences in my life. I think it's funny (and pretty f'in cool) that a visual artist like myself is so completely influenced and affected by musical acts and song. To me, the music I listen to is the fuel that feeds my unforgettable artistic fire. The other day, I did a play count on my iPod to see how many times I've listened to the songs from U2s new album (these were the illegal versions that are now long gone). The highest song, "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own," was listened to 53 times within the course of two weeks. 53!! And that's all by myself! My friend Brandon commented that the new album was officially part of my psyche now. I found that funny, but oddly true. All of this music I listen to, it all somehow becomes part of me, part of who I am. I listen to music all day long at work, all the time in my car and at home when I write and draw. I don't think there's been a day in my life where music hasn't been played. It's always there. How can I not deny it? How can it not creep into my soul? It's interesting what we identify ourselves with, what becomes "our thing" and partially defines who we are or who we become. My brother loves sports. He plays volley ball, softball, referees games, used to be a cross country coach, is on various fantasy leagues, and devotes his weekends to football. That's just his thing. That's what inspires him. What I find odd, practically impossible to comprehend, is that he doesn't remember the last CD he purchased. Conversely though, he'd shake his head in disbelief if he knew I was sitting here writing this post instead of watching the Monday Night Packer game. Whether it's a website currently being devoted to U2, or a Monday night being devoted to the Green Bay Packers, I guess it's cool to know that we all have a little diversion from things once in a while. I know this writing of mine seems to have been going down a dark path and in darker places this year, with everything that's been going on at home. This musical diversion that truly gets me excited and fills my soul is one of the things that helps me get through some of these rougher days. I have a feeling most people feel that way about the things they like. It's probably why our interests and hobbies are held so near and dear to us and become our passions. What makes you swing to the music? Monday's Playist: 1. U2 - How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb 2. Sarah McLachlan - Afterglow Live |
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Initially, I hesitated to write anything. There's a very selfish part of me that knows it's been a difficult year at times, to say the least. That part of me that feels black and blue and run down from some of the hardships I've seen. For a split moment, a part of me was full of self-pity actually wondered what I had to give thanks for this year. But as I searched my mind, I knew that because of the darkness I've seen, my eyes have been opened to so much more. With all the darkness I've seen, I've realized just how astonishingly luckily I am and how thankful I should really be. As my mind proceeded to acknowledge all that I have to be thankful for, I remembered a realization I had a few days ago. It dawned on me that I've been living on my own and by myself for close to ten years. It was a surprising thought to me, because I've rarely felt alone. With that thought, I was able to nail what I'm thankful for on the head, and kind of wrap it up in slightly more cohesive thoughts. I'd be lying if I didn't acknowledge that I'm thankful that I have a nice job, a good car, some cool gadgets, etc. that make me feel good and comfortable in this day-to-day grind. But it's all the people in my life, the relationships that I have, that have never made me feel alone. That's what my greatest thanks has to be. I think of my coworker whose wife passed away a couple of weeks ago. I can't imagine the loneliness he's feeling today. Yes, my family is going through a rough patch right now. But we were all together today, all alive today, laughing and smiling, happy to be having a good day. Over the course of this year, dealing with a sick father who I've always had a difficult relationship with, I find myself thinking about that relationship more and more often, constantly, really. It's been forced into the front lobe of my brain, making it impossible for me to ignore like I'd been doing for the past few decades of my life. Through this, though, I'm seeing an unconditional love come from within myself that I didn't know I had. I'm thankful that I have this capacity to love when it's never been easy, never been what I wanted it to be. But on this day, I'm purely thankful that it is, if that makes any sense at all. I'm thankful that I'm fortunate enough to have my father with me at all. I realize how lucky I am to have a family that I am quite close to, physically and emotionally. At times, the close distance feels like a burden, I'll admit, but now with this struggle, I'm glad to have them so close by. Going through this all together makes it a little easier. Only they can understand what's really going on and what it's really like. As a family, we've never been closer. Being with my nephews today really punctuates these feelings of love and thanks for me. No matter how rough things get, they're that never-ending ball of energy that refuses to quit. They've been the real beacon of hope and light for Dad right now. I see how he perks up when they're around. He's beginning to spend more time with them, too. This is good for him and them. And as I'm now in that stage of uncle-dom where they refuse to leave me alone at any cost whenever I'm around, I find myself wondering how much stronger my love for them can get. With my nephews and all this going on with my father, I didn't know the heart, my heart, could grow and swell as it does. Family is only part of the huge support group that I have. Even though I spend much time with my family, I'm still a very social guy. I have many friends that I'm thankful for on this day. I have some friends that I see every day, some that I see just on the weekends, and others I see only a few times a year. But it's all of these friends, who, many times, keep me going. They're the ones that force me, whether they realize it or not, to carry on when things are tough and I just want to hang up my hat. They're the ones I vent to and let me release my anger and frustrations to. They're also the ones who know the lighter side of me. They understand my sense of humor. They're the ones that I can share all of my hobbies and passions with, whether it's art, music, computers, movies, beer, etc. Many times, my friends are simply an escape for me, which is an awesome thing to have. But at other times, they're here to help me make sense of this crazy world and the problems it throws at us. As I wrap my mind around the concept of thankfulness and what this day is really all about, I can't help but feel extremely lucky. After seeing some of the darkness that my coworker is currently experiencing, I know that things can always be worse. I'm happy that through this difficult time for me, I have family by side and friends covering my back. I've known for a long time that I could never make it on my own. I'm thankful that, even though I'm single and live by myself, I don't feel alone in the least. I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving. :) Thursday's Playist: U2 - How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb |
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I was a casual U2 fan when I was in high school. I remember hearing "With Or Without You" and thinking it was an odd little pop song. It didn't seem to fit in with the music that was going on at the time. Back then, I was all about Michael Jackson's Bad or Sign O The Times by Prince. Now I consider "With Or Without You" one of the best songs of the 80s, maybe only second to "Every Breath You Take" by the Police. Now I consider The Joshua Tree a classic album, one of my favorites. I realize that it probably wasn't of its time, considering how often I still listen to it. It still seems so rich and new. I clearly remember, though, when U2 redefined their sound in the early 90s. By this point, I was all about R.E.M. Out Of Time was my album of the moment. "Losing My Religion" was the most profound thing I'd ever heard. I distinctly remember watching MTV one day and seeing U2's new video for "The Fly." I couldn't believe that was the same band I was used to hearing in the form of rock anthems like "Sunday Bloody Sunday" and "Pride (In The Name Of Love)." All those songs that were fine and good, but ones I just never really got into. When I heard "The Fly," though, I heard a band that was completely willing to toss out everything that it was expected to be, everything it had become. I remember listening to Achtung Baby, blown away by the change that had taken place, the balls it must have taken to reconstruct themselves as they did. Despite all of the raw emotion behind the earlier, political songs of their past, it took an album about irony, reconstruction, and information overload to make me really take notice and hear their sincerity, to get U2. They came to Camp Randall in Madison for the Zoo TV tour a year later during the beginning of my senior year. I had no real interest in going due to expensive ticket prices (at the time $38), but was given tickets at the last minute when my roommate and his girlfriend broke up earlier that day. Seeing U2 at this phase in their career, the amazing ZOO TV set, and their incredible live act, was such an impressive spectacle. I will never forget the way The Edge's guitar felt like it was piercing right through me during one of the final songs, "Love Is Blindness," or how haunting it sounded to me under a full moon and star-filled Madison sky. The next day, I proceeded to buy Rattle And Hum and did the slow crawl of finding everything I could get my hands on by my new favorite band. In the mid- to late-90s, as their sound went in even odder directions, I just ate it up. I loved every moment of it. I saw the Popmart tour three times in one year, twice in one week (at Camp Randall again and in Chicago two days later). The Popmart was the biggest and brightest thing I've ever seen to date. By the dawn of the new millennium, it's as if that Euro-techno version of U2 that I'd come to know and love just packed up their shiny lemon and said goodbye. What emerge was earnest, spiritually fulfilled, less experimental and ironic music that exceeded all expectations. With All That You Can't Leave Behind they tapped into a certain genuineness, truth, redemption, soul, elevation, and maturity that none of their contemporaries, if they even had any anymore, could come close to touching. By this point, I'd moved to a new town. I felt as if I'd started my life anew. The slate was clean. Another huge new phase for my favorite band, another new beginning for me. The timing was perfect. The timing was necessary. When I first heard Walk On, it was if they were singing to me about me. Then 9-11 happened. Again, this album spoke to me in new ways that only music, that only U2, could somehow make sense of the world around me. Now tomorrow, the new album, which I already practically know by heart, hits the shelves. Amidst a whirlwind of hype, buzz, and publicity, this new album delivers. For once in this world of information overload, believe the hype people. It's better than I ever imagined it could be. Once again, it speaks to me in profound ways, ways I swear were custom made for me and me alone. There's a song about an uneasy father/son relationship while the father is sick and dying. It devastates me every time I hear it. This album deals with life and mortality in ways that have been creeping into the corners of my thoughts since Dad got sick. It's an amazing piece of work that touches me very deeply. On a lighter note, though, there's also the Apple/iPod connection which is also so much what I'm about these days. It's as if they've become the epitome of cool to me, all of my favorite things wrapped into one. When I hear this new album, it just makes me want to sing out loud, letting my heart soar. It boggles my mind that a band can do this into the third decade of their career. To me, they're the Beatles of my generation. Somehow or another, through my life, music has always been there, no matter what. As time goes on, there's less substance coming out, less for me to get excited about. But with U2, the substance has always been the standard. I honestly think they're only getting better with time. They've always been there for me. From "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" to "All I Want Is You" and "One," from "The First Time" and "Wake Up Dead Man" to "Kite," and now with "Sometime You Can't Make It On Your Own," "City Of Blinding Lights," and "One Step Closer To Knowing," it feels as if these four lads from Ireland, Bono, The Edge, Larry, and Adam, have always been there. Now, during some really difficult times in my life, when all else seems to fail, I still have U2 around to get me excited, take me away, and make my heart soar. I still have U2 to make me fly, higher than the sun... Uno, dos, tres, CATORSE!!! Monday's Playist: 1. U2 - How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb 2. U2 - Go Home Live From Slane Castle Dublin |
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I've thought about this in length. Seeing a person I have daily contact with lose his wife of only three years really forces me to question all of my priorities. How can it not affect my perspective on things in at least the slightest way? What's been a bit surprising to me, though, is how this has really changed my point-of-view on certain people who I see on a daily basis. There are those individuals who I've been less than kind too, at least in the confines of my own mind or behind their backs. There are certain people that, over the years, I've had a negative attitude towards, held a bit of a grudge for, or generally just didn't like. But after seeing all that happened last week, and how some of these people were genuinely moved, upset, and sincerely reached out to a colleague in his time of need, my perspective on those people greatly changed. I don't know why it took this tragedy to point this out to me. Perhaps I just simply finally saw these people as human beings, not obstacles or thorns in my sides. These are people with their own slew of problems to go home to, just like everybody else. Seeing a fellow co-worker genuinely grieve, with all shields down, changes a person and one's perspective. Through this all, I realized that there are no bad guys in this day-to-day grind. Nobody is seriously trying to take another man down, being a pain-in-the-ass. These are just fellow humans, just trying to make their way in the world, follow their objectives, do their job and what their bosses tell them to do. Perhaps that's part of growing up, casting aside the petty differences in light of some understanding and compassion. Wow. I said it. I just hope, that through this dark time, that some of us kind find a deeper meaning in it all, a greater lesson. I'm bothered when I think of how many people were upset and declared to be forever changed by September 11th, but yet, months later, haven't really changed at all. But at what point in life do things have to start changing? At what point does all of the shit that life rubs in our face actually start making us change for the better? At what point do we become better and stronger people in spite of the darkness, in spite of the pain? If love truly does conquer all, when does it happen? For me, all I can do is try. Every so often, life forces me to open my eyes, re-evaluate my life, and once again, try to make the most my journey, come what may. I can't shake the feeling that once more, I'm granted another start over. Thursday's Playist: 1. Clay Aiken - Merry Christmas With Love 2. Shania Twain - Greatest Hits 3. Britney Spears - Greatest Hits: My Prerogative 4. U2 - How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb 5. Michael Jackson - The Ultimate Collection |
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The word vertigo evokes many emotions to me. The creation of this piece had a dizzying love/hate thing going on. I almost tore it up and threw it away three or four times. This is one of the first things I've done that I so absolutely despised as I was doing it, up until the last half our or so, right about the time I cranked up "Vertigo." When I finished this drawing, though, I fell in love with it, perhaps because of the intense struggle. In a weird way, much like my experiences drawing this piece, but on a far grander, horrifying scale, the last week or so of life has been even more dizzying, practically surreal and uncomprehensible. The feeling of a room spinning out of control with nothing to grab on to, that fucking mind-numbing vertigo, played heavily into my life and that of the people I work with. One of my co-workers came home from work last Tuesday night to find his wife dead. They were married only three years; she died on their anniversary. They have a 9-month old baby. His wife had MS, a disease he was willing to accept and help her fight; but in the end, it was a freak blood clot that exploded in her lungs, not related to the MS at all. It could have happened to anybody. My perspective last week started out with a change in attitude. I'd been having a few really rough weeks at work. I'd been feeling extremely unhappy with the career aspect of my life. I quickly changed my tune early in the week, though, before the the horrible news hit us all. Now, looking back to those previous couple of dark weeks, I realize how important priorities are, how petty certain things really are, and how truly important it is not sweat the small stuff. Suddenly, the dark cloud that was making it hard for me to deal with things seemed pale in comparison to the hell my co-worker is going through. Even my mom and dad, who have been going through their own horrible shit these days, seemed noticeably moved by this tragedy. Mom actually said that it didn't make our situation seem quite so bad. Everybody at work dealt with this horrible incident in their own way. Most of us didn't know our co-worker's wife that well, if at all. We could only really relate to him and what he must be going through. For me, it was hard to grasp the idea of just how quickly it all happened; how completely unexpectedly life can kick you in the nuts, tear your heart out from your chest, and wrap its cold hands around your neck, making it impossible to breathe. It just doesn't seem right, that a guy, a few years younger than me, is going to have to raise an infant by himself who will never know her mommy. I think that's the part of it that really struck all of the parents in my office. That was the relatable part. For me, the shock and dizziness stopped, turning into genuine sorrow, when I realized just how many people this woman left behind. For a quick moment, I thought of my sister, if she would pass away...all the people she'd leave behind. My co-worker's wife wasn't only a mother and a wife, which is the greatest tragedy of all of this of course. She also left behind parents, siblings, co-workers of her own, close friends, all who are heavily affected by this as well. And of course a husband and a little girl. The amount people that this woman touched, the amount of people most of us touch, when one really starts to think about it, can make one lose their balance. When I think of this life, each individual life, and everything we do and all the people we affect, I can practically imagine an infinite spiral starting from and with us in the center. The speed of life, how fleeting it really can be, all spiraling out from the center within ourselves, is mind-boggling. Seeing how quickly it can be torn away like I saw last week, that spiral turning into a tornado, makes one really want to grab on to something and hang on for dear life. Why do I think that vertigo is only the beginning of the whirlwind of horrible emotions my co-worker will be going through for the next few weeks, months, years? Lifetimes? My thoughts and prayers go out to my co-worker right now. I think a few of us were really shocked back to reality a bit these past few days. A few of us have reset our priorities, including myself. But, man, what we're all feeling is nothing compared to the fucking nightmare he must be facing. It's impossible to make sense of this all; what greater purpose this all has to have. It makes my head spin. That's all for now. Count your blessing people. Monday's Playist: U2 - How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb (pre-release) |
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But then I looked at the piece a week later. None of my problems had gone away. In fact, a few new ones had come to the surface. I was wallowing in self-pity, feeling trapped by darkness. In the midst of all the shit going on, I somehow saw this piece, a week later, in a new light. Now granted, I know it still needs a lot of work. I know it's far from my best. But looking at it, I actually saw some good in it. I see something in this piece, a certain volume, maybe something about the beginnings of the color palette. I don't know. I maybe even see a certain potential in this work had I more time or was in a better mood the day it was created. It's a little unsettling, displaying something like this that feels so incomplete. But in the beginnings of this drawing, I can see the slightest tinge of hope. After feeling so completely beat up and at an absolute low point for the better half of a month, I realized that if I cold see this drawing in a different light, find something good about it, then maybe I could change my attitude as well. I was able to get a needed change in my surroundings over this past weekend. On Friday night, I helped my brother and sister tear out carpet and repaint Mom and Dad's living room while they were away, completely surprising them on their return (While You Were Out, anyone?). It was nice working on a project, getting my mind off of things for awhile. My sister has a great perspective on things; it's always nice hearing her out. It felt great doing something nice for Mom and Dad again as well. Seeing them both in a good mood made the entire family feel better for a change too. It was nice to have a positive weekend where my parents were concerned. Perhaps things are slowly getting better. They loved the living room and are still talking about it! For at least that moment, the darkness and emotional exhaustion surrounding my family had been cleared away. On Saturday, I went to Madison for the day to attend our fifth annual Splatterfest gory movie festival. It was a beautiful sunny fall day, wonderful for the drive down. It was great reconnecting with old friends, venting about life, and feeling like they're really there for me. The group of people who go to this thing are just a riot. Each year it gets better and better. There's nothing like cheering on blood and guts ("Splatter!!!!" we all shout as we toast our drinks...) to take ones mind off of things. It's a great time. It felt really good to laugh again after a week or two of feeling really pissed off. I saw the sun in more ways than one that day. I stared my week off yesterday, feeling like the dark cloud following me had been lifted. It's funny, how just the slightest distraction from what's ailing a person can make all the difference in the world. My outlook the past few days is completely different. I'm tired of being mad. I'm tired of being pissed off. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself. I realized that I was bringing on much of this negativily myself. With any of the problems I may have, even the ones completely out of my control, this pain is only within my head. With most of my perceived problems, I am in complete control to do something about them if I must. As I contemplated on certain issues at hand, I saw the control I had to escape the situation, right the wrong, or accept things as they are. It's a very empowering thing, realizing that I'm in control of my own destiny. With that realization, the sun broke through the dark clouds, suddenly making things seem not quite so bad. :) That's all for now. Tuesday's Playist: 1. Moulin Rouge - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack 2. Moulin Rouge Vol 2 - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack 3. John Lennon - Plastic Ono Band 4. John Lennon - Acoustic 5. Britney Spears - Greatest Hits: My Prerogative 6. Shania Twain - Greatest Hits |
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I've been going through some rough times, much of it self-imposed, I'm sure, over the past few weeks. Things have just been weighing extremely heavy on my mind these days. It's like there's this ever-present darkness around me that I'm having a hard time escaping from. At times, I question how far I am from a melt-down, how low I must sink before snapping out of this funk. But every Thursday night, my increasingly emerging talents and just a handful of special artists, always seem to make things a little better, put things in perspective, and make me find a deeper happiness within myself, giving me that strength to get on by and see that things aren't all bad. There actually is much to be happy about. Last night's class was no differerent. It was an interesting class, in light of the election results. Much like the rest of the country, the class is quite split politically as well. I felt a sense of relief, though, that this election was over, and that these topics no longer have to be in the foreground of our drawings or in the way of our margarita glasses. It almost felt like we could at least agree on the results and how split things really are. I think we perhaps even saw that, with a country so split, we were no different. I just hope, like John Kerry wished when he conceded, that "the healing can begin." Maybe it's time for the country, and these opposing political side, to pause for a moment, and reboot. As I take a different approach using pastels and color these day with my drawings, I find an even greater sense of pride and passion while I'm creating my drawing (or paintings, as some of my classmates now call them). When I'm creating these pieces, hell, exorcising them out of my belly, and they end up with such an intensely vivid color, I just get so lost in the process. The two and a half hours goes buy in a flash. To lose myself in that art, to disappear in the manic pools of color, is an extremely healthy, gratifying, and fulfilling thing for me. It's my own personal way to reboot. And sometimes, especially these days it seems, just like with my own naughty little computer, I have to do a hard reboot, things are locked up, or in my case, fucked up, so bad. No matter how dark things get, no matter how heavy the weight on these these shoulders may feel, I thank the heavens above that I have my art and my Thursday night art class as my mental and spiritual reboot. I'm realizing now that my art and my artist friends came into my life at this moment to help me make it through and deal with these burdens. That's all for now. Friday's Playist: 1. Howard Shore - The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Original Motion Picture Soundtrack 2. Howard Shore - The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Original Motion Picture Soundtrack 3. Howard Shore - The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King Original Motion Picture Soundtrack 4. John Lennon - Acoustic 5. Rufus Wainright - Want One |
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Yesterday, I waited in line outside in the cold for almost a hour to vote. I felt proud that people were so passionate about this and just how huge this really was. Rock the vote, indeed. I felt a great sense of hope that change was in the air seeing the turnout at the booths. But, man, I was wrong. Or at least wrong about 51% percent of the country. As I write this, I'm trying to figure out my approach to this page. In the past, when politics where the issue, I let my position be know, but never really got into too much. I always took the "my politics are my own" approach to things. I don't want this to become a platform for my political beliefs; that's not what this site is about. I don't want to this to become some shitty political Moxie-type blog (yeah, I'll still give her a link though!) where all I did was go on and on about why I hate this party or that. Part of it though, was me not wanting to offend any of my readers out there who lean to the right. But this is far too huge, and I am far too disappointed, to ignore. After seeing the results today, realizing that it was practically a 50/50 split, I realize that there's no way any of us can deny this great divide, this incredible split. How can a country, a people, function yet be so divided? So today, half of all Americans, myself included, probably have a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach. Half of us feel an impending sense of doom, a greater sense of isolation with the world at large, and a sickening disgust at the venomous war-mongering, wondering how many more wars we'll be part of (or start?) in the next four years. When will war come to back to our homeland, like it did on 9/11, because of King George and Cheney's version (or excuse) of freedom and safety? When will they bankrupt our people, rape our land, and destroy our families, killing our children? When will the innocent blood stop being shed? When will our vested interest in oil finally satiate the blood lust of the Bush legacy? When will God and religion find a true separation from the pages of our law? When will ignorance and hate not be applauded? What good could possibly come out of the next four years? In my mind, fear won today. Hatred did too. So did all of the faceless corporations, sending our jobs overseas. "The man" won today, that's for sure. And he'll bring us all down. Of course, that's just my opinion.... But then I think, there's the other half of the United States (any of them who I'd be surprised made it through the previous paragraph), who will refute every point I just made. "Fuckin' liberal," they'll say, with a cough under their breath. That other 50% of Americans out there see today as a huge victory. They believe genuinely in the war in Iraq, its ties to 9/11, the safety for our homeland, the freedom of a foreign people, and the policing the world. At least half of the people out there today believe that their pocket books will be in better shape because of the decision made. They believe in the future of their loved ones and that this will world will be a better place. They believe their right to bare arms, the sanctity of marriage, and a faith in God are all in safe hands now. They, too, believe that the innocent blood, just of a different kind, will stop being shed. And who's to say they're not right? Half of the people out there are happy today. Half of them feel as though they made the right choice. Who am I to judge, to say they're wrong? At least half of the U.S people out there today feel justified. I'm blown away that this number is so high, that more people don't see things my way (and feel the sense of doom). But isn't that always the case where opinions are concerned? So for the 50% of you who I just pissed off tonight, congratulations! You still won. Four more years. I pray to God you're right; I'll give you that much. Now all we can do is see what happens. But don't plan on the other half of us being happy about it while it happens. God bless America. Wednesday's Playist: 1. The John Lennon Collection 2. Josh Groban - Josh Groban 3. Celine Dion - Miracle 4. John Lennon - Acoustic P.S. If you want a cool opion, one more in line with what I think at least, check out Tony Pierce's site. This guy is where it's at for political blogs and can verbalize things much better than I'll ever do! |
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I write this post on the night before the election. I've heard many people describe this as the election of our lifetime. The cynic in me wonders if Comedy Central won't be more accurate, already calling it The Prelude to a Recount. I'm amazed at just how personal this election has been to people. I'm amazed at just how personal it's become to me. My intentions for posting this picture aren't to convey my unhappiness with the current administration. Yes, my vote will go to John Kerry tomorrow. For a moment, I did actually consider doing an anti-Bush post. But my reasons for my vote are no more or no less valid than that of the Bush supporters. I have the right to my opinion and my vote, just like any Republican does. I'm not here to sway anybody's mind. There's enough of that going on around me. When I look at this painting now, with the election almost here, and hopefully, unless Comedy Central is right, almost over, I think of how much this election has become a part of my daily conversation in 2004. It's been such a huge part of my life, of everybody's life I'm sure. Gosh, I'll be so glad when it's over. I'm not necessarily sure how good this election has been for people. Yes, it's good to create an open dialogue where politics are concerned. It's good to get involved and informed about what's going on in our country. It's good to open our eyes to the goings-on of our world and understand our place in it. This nation is truly divided right now, but the intentions are justifiably right. Opposing sides may disagree on actions, philosophies, policies, and motivations, but those disagreements are done with an extreme passion, a certain sense of pride and love for this country, and a genuine concern for the betterment of all Americans and the world at large. Of course, since 9/11, the world is a much different place. We're now a country at war. Nothing about this choice should be easy. There's a general feeling with this election that the stakes are much higher now. I've never seen such passion in an election before. That type of passion is a really good thing. But there's a much less idealistic aspect to this election, a very toxic, dirty, nasty side to things this time around. When I think of the ad campaigns alone, both parties should be completely ashamed of themselves. I've got a real concern about the half-truths and lies that both parties are spewing out to America on a never-ending basis. The mud slinging is exhausting. "There is no monopoly on common sense on either side of the political fence..." - Sting I've had so many heated debates about this election. I couldn't even begin to think about how much time I've spent talking about or debating politics with friends. I've left many of these debates in a huff, really feeling pissed off, really taking things personally. I realize the total personal interest we all have in this, but it's getting to a boiling point that feels unhealthy to me now. It should feel unhealthy to this country. At two of the bachelor parties I went to this summer, Bush vs. Kerry was on everybody's mind. There were many loud, heated, fist-pounding, debates...at bachelor parties for Pete's sake!!! There was even campaigning at the Packer game I went to last weekend! People wearing cheeseheads on the campaign trail. It's beyond absurd. It's endlessly been the topic of conversations in my art class, sailing, and even nights out with friends. The candidates are hitting us especially hard, here in Wisconsin. We're one of the swing states. Bush and Kerry have both been to the Green Bay/Appleton area at least six times within the past few months. They were in Green Bay over the weekend and Milwaukee today. It screams of desperation to me. The phone is ringing off the hook with people campaigning, my mail box is full of election junk mail, and lawns and bumpers are peppered with signs devoting a politic affiliation. There's no escape. America's wide awake with this one, that's for sure. But I don't know of anybody who isn't ready for it to all be over. God, I hope Comedy Central isn't right. That's all for now. Monday's Playist: 1. Celine DIon - Miracle 2. Coldplay - Parachutes 3. U2 - The Joshua Tree 4. Howard Shore - The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King Original Motion Picture Soundtrack P.S. To the October archives... When one door opens... |
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Swinging
To The Music
Sometimes
You Can't Make It On Your Own
All
Because Of You (Too)
Another
Start Over
Vertigo
The
Lifting
Reboot
The Other Half
Of Us
Wide
Awake In America