|
|
||
|
Summer's
Here And The Time Is Right It's funny, how when I first writing this blog, I struggled for things to say and the posts seemed few and far between. Now the only thing that's holding me back from updating this on a daily basis is time (see illustration below :) ). I guess the block is down, and I've only begun to express myself. This will probably be the last post on this page, as I'll be archiving the June entries, as the page is getting quite long to scroll through. I don't like archiving the pages though, it feels like I'm putting the drawings away, closing the book again. Oh well, such is the life of web management. Later. G
|
||
|
Time is so precious, so fragile. It's constantly reminding me of the wonderful things in life that we have to live and pursue to their fullest. I'm reminded that the difficult things in life will fade with time, but so do the good things. I guess as I get older, I'm realizing how very important it is to make the most of what's going on around us right now. That's all for now. I'm going to my art class tomorrow night, and then my summer vacation official starts. Off to Madison for Vicki's AIDsride party on Friday and Saturday, and Summerfest on Monday, so it may be a few days before my next post. Later. G |
||
|
When I bumped into them at that bar, I realized how much I've changed since then, become my own person, not nearly as perfect as was required for that group...not quite as prim and proper around that edges...Not simply the nice guy covering up his feelings. This weekend I went to my friend's wedding. He's one of the people in my new group of friends. As I was standing out in the sun on this awesome day for a wedding, sipping on summer hummers and bloody mary's, I felt a real sense of pride and accomplishment for the group of friends I had around me. Many of the people I knew at the wedding on Saturday were just mere acquaintances three short years ago, simply friends of my friend Jason. It used to be one of those things, where I felt odd doing things with them if he wasn't around. At the time, I'd never thought I'd become friends with them...they were nothing like me, or my old group of friends. But now, I'm no longer just "Jason's friend." These people are my friends now too, I have my own relationships with them. I'm still kind of the quiet one in the group, the sensitive artist, but that's not my only role. They've brought out much in me, and I think to a certain extent, I've brought out different qualities in some of them as well. Around them all, though, I feel like I'm my own person, and they like me for who I am, not who they want me to be. Suddenly, there's no reason for me to wear that mask around my friends. I can truly be myself. At 32, it's a great feeling to have...to feel comfortable in my own skin, to begin realizing who I really am. Anyway...Congratulations Brian and Renee! G
|
||
|
G |
||
|
When I got home tonight, I put on my favorite tie-dyed shirt and decided to take a picture of an old painting of mine. I created the painting on the right during my Intro to Painting class my junior year at Madison. This is one of my favorite pieces that I created in college. I was just learning how to use paint at this point in my training (and never went much further than that); but I love how the painting is a total train of thought piece. There's really no top or bottom, no rhyme or reason to it. The white and black babies sitting on the earth on the bottom left were the little kids from Michael Jackson's "Black or White" video that I saw before I went to class that day. There's a little dude wearing a white t-shirt and black shorts. That was my roommate Chris, who I'm convinced was the spawn of the devil. I had him falling off the face of the earth, as he pissed me off for some reason that day. If I look close enough, I could even find his little can of chew that always bugged the shit out of me. And yeah, that's Gumby somewhere in there, wearing Mickey Mouse pants and gloves. The blue fish above Gumby Mouse was my fish Sybil, who had some severe emotional problems before I found her floating at the top of my tank one day. The apparent suicide was best for all involved. What I always love about this painting is that if you had to ask me what my imagination looks like, I'd say it would resemble this painting. Yeah, this is what goes on in my head all day! This is how I see the world. Not much went on this week. My main thing, I guess, would be that I finally got my iPod. I've got over 7500 songs in this little mp3 player that's smaller than a pack of smokes. It's great listening to it at work or especially when I work out. It's like having my entire collection of CDs in my front pocket. It's pretty mind-boggling. What's funny, is now that I have this mp3 player, CDs seem one step closer to being obsolete. It's amazing how much different music is in that thing. How I can go from Marilyn Manson to the George Winston with the simple touch of a button, without even thinking twice, blows my mind...Maybe it's because of that type of shift in gears that the inside of my head looks like the painting above! I've spent a lot of time at my parents this week, taking care of the dog and lawn while Dad is gone to Canada. It's exhausting, feeling like I'm taking care of my mom. I'll be happy to have Dad back tomorrow. It seems like tomorrow my summer officially starts. I have a campfire at my friend Fischer's place tomorrow night, then his wedding on Saturday. Next Friday I'm going to Madison for Vicki's AIDSride party, and then seeing the Foo Fighters at Milwaukee Summerfest that following Monday with Splash. I plan on going up north for the 4th of July weekend. Where, exactly, up north, I'm still not sure. Hopefully I can still keep this site current while I travel around the state the rest of this month! That's all for now. I should be at my drawing class tonight, but I had to cut the lawn before Dad got back. The 3 acres of it only took 2.5 hours to cut, with me and my brother both cutting at the same time! Anyway.... G
|
||
|
Post
Script My reasons for going to the cemetery have always been selfish ones. It's my way of dealing with his death, and keeping his memory alive, even if he was only on this earth for a short time. I also did it for Michael, I guess, not really knowing if I believe in a heaven or not, but I think I do, and I think he's growing up there now. I do it for him, so he knows that his oldest cousin still loves him. I never thought, though, that what I was doing was helping out Mike and Wendy as well...helping their pain in whatever slight way. Once in a while, it's good to know my actions are helping out the loved ones around me. To this day, when things get difficult, when that cross gets a bit too heavy, I always think of Michael. Whenever there's a cool, calm breeze, I think of him and realize that life goes on...things will be alright. G |
||
|
Earlier this week, I emailed a friend who I haven't really been talking to much lately. My first thought was that he was mad at me for some reason, but he's not the type to really act like that. He's been dating this girl for awhile, and it's seems like it's getting quite serious. I thought maybe he's just been spending all of his time with her, kind of getting absorbed in a new relationship. But yet, something just didn't feel right. It's like I've been getting this odd vibe whenever I think of him lately, and I couldn't shake it. Well, he emailed me back on Thursday, telling me that he's been dealing with a health condition, that took a turn for the worse. On Monday, he had to undergo some minor surgery. Everything should be fine with him, but it's just one of those things, that shakes you up. You think of the possibilities of a situation, all the different ways things could play out, and it's a bit of an eye opener at time...the blasted "what if." On Friday, I got a call from my mom. One of my sister's best friend's brother died in a freak accident. He worked at a feed mill and fell into an auger...just a fuckin' horrible way to die. My sister's friend, understandably, is in shock. My sister, just feels terrible. I didn't know this guy, just barely know my sister's friend really....but I still feel for her and her family. What a shock...what an eye opener...how lucky some of us are. I couldn't imagine losing a sibling. Today is the 8 year anniversary of the death of my cousin Michael. He would have been a little older than 9 right now. I remember the night he died. It was the most horrible day of my life...I can't even imagine what it was like for my aunt and uncle. I dare not even think too deep about the events of that day...it's too difficult to relive. Each year at Christmas, and on the anniversary of his death, I visit his grave, put flowers on it, try to have an imaginary conversation with him, perhaps say a little prayer. To this day, I still break down and cry like a baby when I visit that grave. His death was the hardest thing I've ever dealt with...it made me look at things in a completely different way. It opened my eyes to the harsh reality of the world, the harsh reality of how unfair the world is, how imperfect science is, how cruel God can be. As I was leaving the cemetery, my aunt and uncle showed up as well. I kind of acknowledge their presence, but kept walking. I needed to let them be. I went over to my Grandparents for Father's Day tonight, and saw a few of my cousins that would be Michael's age....it's amazing. He died when he was 15 months old. I see my cousins growing up so fast, and I just can't help but think of that blasted "what if." My dad is in Canada right now, on his yearly fishing trip with some of my uncles. It was odd, not really celebrating father's day since Dad was gone. Even though I'm not that close to Dad, it felt odd not celebrating this day. I think this is the first time in my life that I really missed my dad, and he's only been gone for 2 days. I spent the day with my mom, took her out to lunch, and then went to the Botanical Gardens in Green Bay. It was odd, I felt like I was "taking care" of my mom. In my mind, I couldn't help but play out that blasted "what if" again...of a time when one or both of my parents won't be around to spend holidays like this with. Our presence here on Earth seems so precious...but so extremely delicate. It reminds me of leaves or feathers, blowing in the wind...riding different jet streams, different possibitlies...all the different "what ifs," and how lucky we are that the outcomes are more than often blessings rather than curses, joy rather than pain. G
|
||
|
Summer
Wine It was odd being the foreigner in their country. We didn't even have to open our mouths and they new we were from the United States. A few of the locals said my shorts and baseball cap gave that away. I found the people to be very friendly, extremely accommodating...And boy, did they like to drink. Needless to say, a couple Wisconsin boys fit in quite well.
The next day we drove to Waterford, where we stayed in a castle, which was on its own little island. You had to take a car ferry to get to the mainland and back. The hotel was the ritziest thing I've ever stayed in. I really did feel like royalty. That night, Jim and sat up and talked until about 3:00 in the morning as the barmaid served us Guinness after Guinness. You've never had a Guinness until you've had one in Ireland. It was fantastic! So fantastic, that Jim and had about 8 each, to our count that night. The beauty of that was that those beers never ended up on our bill. The luck o' the Irish.
After the soccer game, we visited Blarney Castle. This is where everybody kisses the Blarney stone. The stone is actually one stone at the very top of the castle that you have to lean backwards over to kiss. No thanks. Jim did it though, and I give him props. Rumour has it that the Irish piss on that stone, to get even with the tourists. The castle, and it's vast acres of well-kept grounds were simply stunning. The castle had a cave, Badger Cave, which we went as far in as we could before it got too dark (about 4 feet in!). I think that cave used to be the dungeon. We stayed in our first bed and breakfast that night. Jim and Todd went to play golf, and I opted to stick around that B&B to work on some post-cards or a journal entry. Neither happened, as one of the hosts of the B&B, Mike, came in the sunroom and had a nice chat with me. It was so cool, talking with a native Irishman, getting his take on life. It was one of many highlights of my trip that I'll never forget. The next day we went to the Ring of Kerry, and a national forest. The Ring of Kerry is basically three small peninsulas that all stem out into the ocean. The national forest was cool, in that it was so lush....I saw so much vegetation there...Vines growing around trees, moss growing on the vines. It was like things couldn't get any greener if you tried. We hike deep into the forest and came across this huge waterfall. Nothing like I've ever seen before. Again, simply breathtaking. I remember the forest being so humid, the air so heavy. Once we finished our hike, we drove around the keyes. This was so interesting, because for awhile, we'd be driving in through the mountains, and just like that, we'd be on a cliff overlooking the ocean. It was at those times, that the driving and/or riding always got a bit interesting, especially when a bus would come flying around a curve on a narrow little road with a cliff on one side of us, and a mountain on the others. The scenery was simply amazing. We all took a ridiculous amount of pictures. It was so cool! If we weren't looking out for buses coming at us, we had to look out for sheep crossing, as they seemed to be everywhere. Our final destination that day was Dingle, where we stayed in our second B&B. Our lodging was right on the coast. The view from Jim's room was incredible, especially as it was a brilliant sunset. A few of the photos I shot that night remind me of Monets. I have one that I say is my "Vanilla Sky." That night, Jim went into town, and from the sounds of it, had a great time (and almost got lost coming back!), and Todd and I stuck around the room, soaked up the sunset, and just had nice time chatting and relaxing. The following morning, we did some shopping, and the drove through the mountains again. The weather that day was pretty crappy, but was so cool was at one of the highest parts of the mountain, we were driving through almost complete fog. We pulled over at a rest stop, and you could tell we were directly in the middle of this cloud that was moving. We could see and feel it move. As it passed by, we just watched in awe. That was the highlight of that day. That day we drove through the middle of the country to get to Port Laesch, which was only a hour of so from Dublin, which we left for the following day. That was kind of our dead day, as we spent most of it driving. While we were driving that day, that was the first time we had the radio on in the car. As it was raining out, and we are driving cross-country, the song "Summer Wine" by The Corrs, featuring Bono came on the radio. That was the first moment where I really felt like we were in Ireland! The host at the B&B was a jolly sort. He reminded me of a drunk Benny Hill (a drunker Benny Hill?). He had a story for us for us for everything we did. He told us that when we used the shower, to bang on the wall, spin around three times, and say some Irish chant to get the spirits of the hot water to work. He told us some other story about how when we go out at night we all turn into werewolves and then hunt the ladies, or something like that. I was very tired, he seemed a bit drunk, and had a super thick accent. That guy was a riot.
The next day, we visited St. Patrick's Cathedral. There was this beautiful organist playing while we were walking around. It seemed so divine. It was a really special thing. That night, Jim and went out on the town again. The think the night before was still dragging Todd down! :) Jim and I hooked up with a group of 6 or 7 people, roughly our age. They were so friendly, so cool . The girls made fun of our American accents. I asked them to imitate us, and they'd say "You're so money and you don' t even know it," a direct quote from the movie "Swingers." They sounded more like John Wayne than Vince Vahn. It was the funniest thing. They took us to a "heavy metal" bar, which was playing all hair-band music from the 80s. I had to laugh about that. We stayed out with those people until the bars closed. It was a Sunday night, and they all had to work the next day! Jim and I were a bit hung over the next day, which is always a good thing to do when traveling for the rest of the next day. The trip was beyond my wildest dreams. As I'm writing all of this, so many memories come back to me....but it scares me that part of that trip, the little things that I may not have cute little stories for, or a photograph of, may slowly disappear with time. I had to really think back for some of the names and places. I dedicate this posting (much longer than I anticipated), to Todd, Jim, and Heather. Todd was hassling me today, wondering where my next post was. We here it is buddy...all 5000 words! Heather is a good friend who was in Ireland over St. Patrick's Day. G
|
||
|
As each class goes by, I feel like I'm recapturing that piece of myself that I had somehow cast aside. I see my talent rapidly getting back to where I was back when I was in college. I see myself growing and honing in on the talent like I did back when I was in high school. It's a really amazing thing to see happen...to see myself create something out of nothing, to capture what a person looks like with a series of scribbles and scrathes. Every model that I've drawn so far have been pretty interesting characters. To me, they all have seem to have a certain quirkiness about them...and it's interesting, on those good nights, when things are going well, it seems like everybody in the class is able to do an extremely good job of catching that person's spirit in their drawings. I wonder what the models think, when they walk around during the breaks and after the class, and see how we've all drawn them. Do they look at themselves differently? It would be weird, to see what you look like through the eyes of another. It would be odd to see a small slice of your soul drawn up with chalk and pencil. Each model has interesting physical characteristics. The guy I drew Thursday night, Dean, had very defined jowls, and a thin little bottom lip. The model from the week before, Cathy, had a really interesting smirk. I wonder if these things that a group of artists see as being interesting are things that the models see themselves. I wonder if what we find as being interesting and unique are things that they hate and want to change about themselves. Or are they things that they don't notice at all?
The more time I spend really concentrating on drawing people's faces, the more I'm enthralled by how different we really are from each other. It's interesting how each face tells a story, gives off a vibe. I wonder what I'm putting out there. When I draw that person, I wonder how different their life is from mine. What are their passions in life? What are their dreams? What demons do they fight? What crosses do they bear? It's all so very interesting..... On a side note, last night I saw "Finding Nemo," the latest Pixar flick, last night. It was so great! The theater was full of kids, and watching and hearing them react to this movie was priceless! The animation in the movie was the best yet that I've seen in a movie. I wonder how many little kids are now going to want to have fish tanks? Anyway, that's all for now. G |
||
|
Friday night was the Elton John concert. It was awesome! He played for about 2 hours, 45 minutes. Our seats were pretty good; they were on the floor. I'd say we were 30 rows or so from the stage. At times, it was a bit hard to see, but was totally worth it to be in the crowd like we were for "Crocodile Rock," "Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting," and "Pinball Wizard." I think the highlight of the show for me was when he sang "Your Song" for the finale. "Rocket Man" seemed to go on for 20 minutes, and was just incredible. It was great hearing such good live music and feeling that strong bass resonate through my chest. Saturday night I ended up hanging out at a friend's house, watched "Jackass: The Movie" (extremely lowbrow, but funny shit!), and then we debated until 5:00 in the morning whether it we'd rather be homeless or in jail (hey, at the time it made sense!). The bottle of wine I drank helped things out. It was great fun hanging out with that group of friends like that again. It's kind of like old times, and we haven't done that in a while. As we get older, our schedules seem to get more and more busy, and nights like that are a rare occasion these days. Yesterday, I spent the day over at my parents, like I tend to do on Sundays. My sister and her family were there too. The time with my nephews seems to more and more chaotic, as one is 3 and the other is 1. But I wouldn't change it for the world. Those two are growing into quite the little bealers, into everything. It's awesome! I can't help but smile whenever they're around. Last night, I saw "Matrix Reloaded" (again) with my friend Brandon from work. That movie is just so freakin' awesome! With this latest batch of super hero movies that I've seen: DareDevil, X2, and now the Matrix Reloaded, I've been just getting the biggest adrenaline rush. Still to come this summer is The Hulk and Terminator 3, which I'm really psyched about as well. After the movie last night, I rushed home to watch the season finale of Six Feet Under, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite shows. I didn't get to bed until 12:30 last night, so my ass is dragging pretty bad tonight. I skipped out on my workout tonight, and decided to just sit on my front porch and draw. The image above are some of the trees across the street from where I live. There's no big story involving the drawing, nothing too spiritual or meaningful, just some cool trees that needed to be drawn. My way of relaxing tonight. I'm signing off for now. I'm beat. G P.S. Click on the archive link below to see the graphics and journal entries from April and May.
|
||
|
If you any questions, comments, or requests, you can contact me at: |
||
 |
The Unchained
Melody
Walk On
Ray Of Light
I Pod U Pod We All
Pod For iPod 
What If
The first day when we got into Shannon,
Ireland, we were extremely jet lagged, but everybody said to
stay awake until their night fell, despite what time our bodies
thought it was. I think the time difference was something like
8 hours ahead over there (I might add, on the flight to Ireland,
it was pretty cool to me to see us flying away from the night.
Darkness literally lasted for about two hours.). We were pretty
much zombies when we got there, and then, hey, let's learn how
to drive on the opposite side of the road! That was something
I never really got used to while I was there. The roads seemed
to be about 1/2 the size of the ones around here, traffic seemed
to drive like crazy, and the U2 song is right, the streets have
no names. We got lost so many times I can't even count. We had
to look like the typical American tourists! Well, the initial
stress of being lost and driving was quickly subsided once we
reached our initial destination, the Cliffs of Moher. Simply
breath-taking. One cannot question the majesty of God when you
see a site like that!
The next day we drove to
Blarney, where we spent the afternoon in a pub watching Ireland
play in the World Cup finals. This was a major deal. There were
little kids out of school that day so they could watch soccer,
or as the Irish call it, "football." It appeared to
have the same significance that the Packers going to the Super
Bowl had in Green Bay. I was really happy to be in Ireland at
that time, experience something like that with those people.
I have a hard time getting into just about any sporting event,
so while Jim and Todd were enjoying the game on the TV, I was
enjoying people watching and a few tall pints of Bemish, the
competition to Guinness (On a side note relating to beer, and
it is true that they like to drink a lot over their, we noticed
a lot of the younger people drinking the red and white label
Budweiser...I guess it's a sign of rebellion for these younger
people to not drink Guinness, like their father's do....).
The next day we went to Dublin, which was
completely mind-boggling at first. I've never seen so much traffic
in my life. There were just mobs of people in the street, traffic
everywhere...I can only imagine what New York is like! Dublin
took some time to get used to, but once we got used to the trains,
cabs, and buses, it was just a great place to be. It was a fantastic
way to end the trip, and I'm really glad we spent two days there.
We went out both nights pretty hard. The fist night, we went
to Gogarty's Pub. The pub is known for it's Irish music. I guess
the place is a tourist trap, but when the tourists include people
from Australia, England, New Zealand, etc., it sure didn't feel
like a tourist spot to me. This might sound weird, but that night,
I never felt more connected to the world, talking to all these
people from around the globe. That night I'm not sure if I had
more Guinness spilled on my jacket, or in my belly. I even did
a little River Dancing on the side stage at the end of the night.
I don' t think I've ever had more fun going out in my life. I
remember getting back to the hotel that night, feeling like the
Cheshire cat. I've never smiled so wide.
In Your Eyes
I
wonder how people would draw me. I wonder what characteristics
on me would stand out. I'm not talking about the really obvious
things either, the red hair, the glasses...I'm talking about
the little details, the little things that really define who
we are. The little things, that collectively make up our face.
Reload