And Jack Bauer is so the bomb.

Monday's playlist:

1. Pink Floyd - Animals

2. The Police - Every Breath You Take: The Singles

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This above photo was shot from my work parking lot yesterday morning. Coming in that half hour earlier has some real advantages. Check out my homepage for a cool variant on this image.

Last night, I went to the Barlow Planetarium with a couple guys from work. They were highlighting three laser light shows: Laser U2, Laser Zeppelin: A Whole Lotta LED, and Laser Floyd: Dark Side of the Moon. I'd never been to the planetarium or a laser light show, but with the U2 show playing, we all thought, what the hell, let's give it a try and make a night of it.

The laser shows, which were actually live performances, were absolutely incredible. There was 3-D stuff that made my stomach drop, abstract interpretations that were just plain cool, and the sound system was totally booming. It was the quickest three hours that I've experienced in a long time. Because it was only music and these abstract visuals, it was an entirely new sensory experience. At times I felt like I was at a concert. Other times, my reactions felt almost primitive -- merely responding to sound and color. Sometimes I felt anxious, other times relaxed or hypnotized. During a few of the Zeppelin tracks, it actually felt oddly sexual. It was trippy in the truest sense of the word. I think I might go see it again sometime in the next month, and am eagerly awaiting Laser Beatles.

My morning starting out with a visual feast from the skies up above. It was fleeting, breath-taking, and a true gift. My day ended with an entirely man-made sonic and auditory magic carpet ride, feeling like the culmination of science and technology, that was truly awe-inspiring.

Talk about two entirely different sensory experiences that gave me some of the exact same reactions... Totally effin' awesome. Have a great weekend.

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Somebody asked me yesterday why I take a full hour. Don't I want to get out of the office right at 3:30? Usually, yes. But that's not always a priority for me. Even with the full hour, I'm still out of work at 4:00 instead of 4:30. It's good to break up my day that way. Plus, it's a great way to spend some out-of-office fun time with my friends. I'm realizing that sometimes, it's worth a little sacrifice (and I use that term in the loosest sense in this context) to get something good out of life.

Last week, I went to a friend's graduation party. Actually, more of a friend-of-a-friend. I knew that none of my "first tier" of friends, if you want to call them that, were going to be there. Despite the fact that I knew it would be a bit awkward, I'd be a bit out of my comfort zone, and I would have much rather have stayed home recuperating on the couch from the night before, I chose to go anyway. In the end, I was glad I went for the sake of the people throwing the party. I know it said a lot to them that I was there. I also managed to catch up with another friend who I haven't seen in ages. I gave a little bit and got something out of it in return.

This summer, I drove to Minneapolis to go to a friend's wedding, only knowing the bride and groom. Yeah, it was awkward at times. Yeah, there were moments where I sat by myself. But it also meant a lot to the bride and groom that I was there and a lot for me to be there. All the other insecurities and awkwardness was inconsequential. My memories of that day are the positive ones. They came about by extending myself and putting my feelings for somebody ahead of my insecurities or my perceived inconveniences.

As I got through this life of mine, I'm noticing how simple it is to find happiness and contentment. All I have to do sometimes is just ever-so-slightly over-extend myself -- the rewards are exponential. A lot of times, the good things in my life seem to happen if I just barely nudge myself off the beaten path and take advantage of the smallest of opportunities versus always being in a rush to get home to status quo. I suppose you could file all of this under stop and smell the roses.

Amazing how it all works.

Thursday's playlist:

1. Cinecast #63 - Jackson's Monkey Trail

2. Vertigo 2005 // U2 Live from Chicago

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With my new start time at work, I've been leaving home about 35 minutes earlier. Traffic at 6:30 AM is absolutely horrible. I'm not sure if it's that people are just dumber at that time of the day, or if they have more time to lollygag around. But as I'm trying to merge onto the freeway, there's always somebody in my way, creeping onto the highway at 35 mph, with little to no ambition to hit the speed limit anytime soon. When I try to get around a pocket of traffic, to cruise in the fast lane at around (at least) 72 mph, there's always somebody in front of me who WON'T MOVE OVER, in my mind oblivious to the line of cars forming behind them, many times with nobody in front of them. No matter how early I leave, these slow people are just a fact of life on the highway system. This morning, I laughed to myself at the similarities of my frustrations during my drive into work to my actual frustrations at work.

This is all I ask people: Lead, follow, or get the eff out of the way.

And I guess I have two options:

1.) Be an ass. Be the road-rager. Be the prick in the office who demands results and gets little respect. I could go through my day and my morning commutes an uptight mess only concerned about my life, my goals, my journey, my precious, me, me, ME. I could be somebody I loathe (and I know too many people like that).

or

2.) Be level-headed and understand that all I have control over are the things I can change. I can be as prepared as possible, knowing that I might still very well be held up. I can try to be a little more understanding other people's agendas, workloads, or traffic screw-ups as I'm sure I'm not perfect either. I have to accept my frustrations, do my best to help move them along, and somehow take charge. Unless I work for myself, I have to realize that a certain stage in things, they are out of my hands. I have to somehow balance patience with understanding while still getting my stuff done (or to work on time).

I'm 100% positive I can still do all this and be a nice guy. As for the road rage.... well, let's just say I'm working on that too. Kind of.

Wednesday's playlist:

1. Desire - Piano Tribute To U2

2. U2 Chatcast Extra 01

3. Keane - Hopes and Fears

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I must admit, though, that the natural rhythm of my day felt off today. I'm sure it's because of the earlier start time. I've been trying not to drink soda anymore these days, so maybe I just needed a little caffeine. Also, I could have just been tired because of a busy weekend. Oh well -- that's Monday fer ya...

My boss is letting me try out this 7:00 AM start time this week to see if I like the schedule and don't have a problem getting to work on time, before I have to decide if that's my new official start time. It's hard to gauge anything on a Monday, as those days are groggier than most. My impressions today, though, are that my afternoon flew by, the half hour earlier I was at my desk was nice and quiet (something I long for these days), and I felt like I actually had a life after my workday was complete. I had a great workout -- I feel myself getting in better shape, not feeling like I'm going to die through my cardio, and overall just feel like more of a machine at the gym, for as odd as that may sound. This alternate schedule may actually allow me to focus even more on this new workout!

Now a quick read-through and then time for 24!

Monday's playlist:

1. U2 - The Joshua Tree

2. The Corrs - VH1 Presents The Coors

3. Fiona Apple - Extraordinary Machine

4. Bangles - Greatest Hits

5. Madonna - Confessions on a Dancefloor (great to work out to, btw)

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Even though the two cities are relatively close together, they're quite different from each other. Green Bay is more blue- collar and industrial. It's the home of the Packers and I think sometimes that's all its got going for it. Appleton is much more progressive, more liberal, and definitely newer and cleaner.

Over the summer, Appleton passed a no-smoking ban in all of the bars and restaurants. Madison, about two hours south of here, has a similar ban as do many cities on the east and west coasts. A lot of people, of course, are against the ban. Many businesses initially took a hit; you could see it. But it seems like the vibe is coming back in Appleton now. The bars are definitely getting back to the way they used to be, with the exception of all that smoke.

It's amazing how used to a non-smoking environment one can get. In the bar I was at in Green Bay last night, I was taken back when I saw somebody light up. I actually thought to myself "Who the hell does he think he is?" before I remembered what city I was in. When I got home, I was amazed and disgusted by how smoky my clothes smelled...and we weren't even in a smoky part of the bar. I think the smoke-free thing is why I actually am enjoying the Appleton thing a lot more these days. Even a few of my friends who smoke, most of them "social smokers," have commented that they'd rather go outside to smoke versus smelling like an ashtray when they come home at night. As a non-smoker, I'm glad to have the right to smoke-free surroundings.

My dad smoked my entire life up until I was out of college. I remember when I was little, my parents' friends would come over for card night and I'd set out ash trays all over the house. That house must have been a regular chimney. Around the time I was in college, it seemed like people were starting to make the switch in their homes. I remember many Christmases where people would be congregating out in Grandma's garage in the cold for a smoke. Just like outside of the bars in Appleton. Nowadays, the smokers are getting more and more sporadic. I can't tell you the last time I went into a house of a smoker. Even they smoke out in their garages. I have a feeling its just a matter of time before certain states and eventually the entire country will be smoke-free and it will eventually be a non-issue with establishments.

Sometimes, it's cool to witness the positive evolution of our culture.

Hope y'all had a nice weekend!

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It's been one of those weeks. I feel stretched in 100 different directions, and yet nothing gets done. As my mind was heavy the past few days with some occurrences at work, and now today with some family issues, I need to remember a few things:

Not everything is about me. I have to stop feeling personally attacked if somebody has a different agenda than mine. I have learn to reach out to those I care about while somehow pulling back a bit too. There's only so much of me to give. I need to somehow make the people I care about realize they're not always the victim. We can pull ourselves out of any situation we are in if we open our mind to other options. I can't carry the weight of things I have no control over. I can't make somebody change unless they want to. So much of our behavior comes from a lifetime of repeat offenses, doubt, and not knowing any better.

It's hard to keep these things in mind, and find myself doing so well after-the-fact.

On the positive side, as a distraction, my muse has been at my side all week. She's given me a titillating amount of inspiration and creativity on the home front, a complete opposition to what I'm feeling in my daytime life. She's been flirtatious, gorgeous, and won't leave me alone. She keeps me up way past midnight, forcing the creativity to shun away all of the darkness, making it capable for the sun to rise the next morning. She's been good to me this week, right when and where I need it. The only problem is that she can sleep in in the morning while I have to wake up and make a living to support both of our dirty little habits. Oh well, I wouldn't trade that old gal for the world. She's getting sexier by the minute, filling me up in ways that make me want to soar and feel alive, despite the rest of things.

This gal I speak of is a muse: my creativity, my inspiration. A silent, invisible visitor whose been a part of my life since I first can remember. She was summoned from a place of higher understanding, and bestowed upon me as my very special gift in life. She's an intangible in my existence, but my strongest force.

I've always noticed that during my darkest moments, my creativity runs amuck, naked in the streets and rain, keeping me above the surface. The creativity makes all of the worlds problems go away.

I'm learning that sometimes it's okay to be vague on a blog and not say too much while actually saying a whole lot.

:)

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side.
I wait for you.
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait, without you

With or without you
With or without you.

Through the storm, we reach the shore
You gave it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you...

With or without you
With or without you.
I can't live with or without you.

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give, and you give
And you give yourself away.

My hands are tied, my body bruised
She got me with nothing to win
And nothing else to lose.

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give, and you give
And you give yourself away.

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you.

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

from With or Without You by U2

This song is dedicated to the good and the bad tonight. The light and the dark. I can't live with or without you.

Thursday's playlist: Alanis Morisette - The Collection

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I've never understood people who've gone from one relationship to another and/or have never lived by themselves. That's such a foreign concept to me. In my opinion, it's quite sad. How can you be with someone else, when you haven't even found yourself?

I'm not sure how the conversation got started. My friend and I were talking about how so many of the married people we both know these days seem so miserable. It's as if their marriage is nothing more than a hindrance from what they want to do or more of a convenient stepping stone to having kids and a house, which are more ideals placed on people by society. Don't get me wrong, I know a lot of great, loving, married couples. More good than bad, of course. I see them love each other, work together as a team, build a great life together, and fulfill their dreams. I know many genuine soulmates and it warms my heart. But I guess I was talking about those other married people -- we all know them -- the ones you look at and wonder "How the hell did you ever fall in love and manage to get married? How can something as sacred and beautiful as marriage make you so miserable?"

I just feel as if a lot of people do it for the wrong reasons or because it's expected. They give up so much of themselves, compromise away any real sense of identity, if they ever had one at all. If it's supposed to be such a great thing, why do I see these couples bicker all the time, or just bitch and moan about all the stuff they can't do and how strapped down they are? Is the "forever and ever, amen" kind of love supposed to induce that kind of pain? Is insecurity and the thought of being alone so much worse than being so unhappy but having somebody to go home to at night?

Yeah, I'm getting quite cynical. I know. Don't get me wrong. Some day I want to get married and have kids. I can't imagine my future any other way. I feel like that's just not in my immediate future right now. There's too much I want to do. I would end up jaded and feeling tied down.

So with that said, with feeling almost proud of my singledom and cynicism, my day was capped off with an odd twist. There are so many great ironies in life.

I got home from work last night with a message on my answering machine from my sister. "Could you call me as soon as you get home?" She sounded worried.

I called her back right away. She sounded weird on the phone...not so much worried anymore, but almost embarrassed. "What's up?"

"Um...nothing really. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. There's a couple messages on your cell phone from me that you can ignore now that I know you're alright."

What the hell is going on?

On Monday, my sister emailed me at work. It was an extremely busy day full of meetings and side-projects. Her email got cast aside. Usually with her, I respond right away. A good part of my day I'm at my desk. Well, yesterday's work day came and went as well, and her email completely slipped my mind.

Later yesterday, she called my desk. She has my direct extension but got my voice mail. I'd already left for the day and was at the gym. After no luck with my work phone, she tried my cell phone. No answer. As I said, I was at the gym. For some reason, at this point, she started to worry.

My sister tends to worry about things. It's a trait in my family passed on from my grandma to my mom to my sister and I. But usually we are somewhat rational. I'm not sure what got my sister so worked up, or made her jump to such drastic conclusions so quickly. After all, I saw my family Sunday. Yup, two days previous. She actually had my brother-in-law stop by my place and check up on me just to make sure I wasn't "lying there dead or something." Her words, not mine. Once he saw my car wasn't in my garage, they assumed I was out and about and fine. Of course, I was still at the gym. I never knew my working out could be so unhealthy for my family.

Ever since Dad's gotten sick, I think we've all been a little more stressed out. A few months before he got sick, Mom asked my sister and I if we thought Dad was alright. Something just wasn't right. Looking back, it was an odd omen; if we only knew what we had in store. I think since then, we're all more on edge with each other's health. It gets a little harder not to jump the gun.

For some reason, though, yesterday, my sister jumped to conclusions and her mind wouldn't let her be. She felt pretty stupid once she realized I was okay and how ridiculous it all was.

I laughed off the situation. Only my sister... After the phone call, I had to rush to a work-related meeting in Green Bay. My mind went to some extreme places in that 30-minute drive. My first and overall feeling was that of endearment. It felt really good to have somebody worry about me like that. But then, another darker thought crept into my mind: What if something horrible would happen to me when I'm alone?

My second-cousin who lived alone his whole life had a heart attack on his front lawn. He laid there for hours before somebody found him. He spent days in the hospital before any family was identified or found. In the end, he died but could have been saved had he been tended to earlier.

Around seven or eight years ago, when my grandma still lived in her house, she slipped on the way to pick up the mail after supper one night. Grandpa had been gone for many years by this point. She laid there for three hours near the sidewalk before my cousin happened to drive by in the dark and saw her shadow struggling to get up. After that scare, her health was never the same. In a lot of ways, that's when she started her decline to the state she's in now.

I don't mean to make this a downer tonight. That's far from my intention. I joked with one of my friends that I have this fear in the back of my mind that someday, I'll die alone and my cat Anakin will eat out my eyes before somebody finds me. But when I say those things, I'm morbidly joking. I have a feeling that that's the place my sister's mind to went last night for some irrational reason.

I found it odd to have that happen right on top of my lunchtime conversation about my cynicism about marriage and my pride of being good at being alone. Perhaps that's why people rush into relationships, stay in abusive ones, or allow the dysfunctional ones to continue. Maybe part of it's just all out of the fear of dying alone.

Despite all of these dire thoughts last night, my overwhelming thoughts were warm and of feeling loved. With my family practically at my side, even though I'm single, I'll never be alone. Do you feel loved?

Thanks for indulging me tonight.

Ah the lonely people, where do they all come from...
from Elenor Rigby by The Beatles

We get to carry each other, carry each other... one
from One by U2

Wednesday's playlist:

1. Willie Nelson - iTunes Originals

2. Tori Amos - Live Bootlegs, 2005

2. Ebert & Roeper - Worst of 2005

3. Ebert & Roeper - Reviews for the Weekend of January 7 - 8, 2006

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I just finished my fourth hour of 24. Wow. I can actually feel my blood rushing. I have one minor problem though: the new big-wig at CTU is played by Sean Astin, a.k.a Samwise Gamgie from LOTR. I'm having a hard time making a disconnect and not seeing him with big hobbit feet, curly hair, crying, and saying "Mr. Frodo..."

Be sure to check out my media page for the new songs (I added a third since last night's post) I created and put up this weekend, as well as my links page for a few new blogger friends. I'm always adding something to this site, aren't I?

Today's playlist consisted of a bunch of podcasts that I'm trying to catch up on. No reason to list those tonight.

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Yesterday morning I created a new song and finished up another one that's been lingering around here for a few months. They can be downloaded from my media page on this site. Both songs are more of an ambient or new age nature. The first song, "Sunny Saturday," was inspired by the first sunny day that I've been home for in over a month. It's a little new age number that's based on a general feeling of light-heartedness. The second song, "Mad Scientist," is in the same vein as some of the bizarre Prince or Beatles b-sides that I always loved as a kid. It's highly experimental in nature; I pulled a lot of a "Sgt. Pepper" vibe mixed with ambient, techno, and new age. I know these aren't for everybody, but they're yet another way for me to express myself. I'm quite happy with how they turned out. I hope you enjoy them. Let me know what you think.

Now it's time to watch the first of four hours of the season premiere of 24. Tuesday night, American Idol starts up. Fox now has me by the short hairs until the end of May. This week I think it's time to look into getting a DVR. Have a good week!

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Four jobs you’ve had in your life: Farm hand, convenience store clerk, gas station attendant, Jack's Pizza Factory worker (I made the crust!), Graphics Technician, Product Design Specialist

Four movies you could watch over and over: Star Wars (all six), Lord of the Rings (all three), Office Space, Field of Dreams, Dances with Wolves, The Lion King, Toy Story 2, Chasing Amy, Clerks, Moulin Rouge

Four places you’ve lived: Kaukauna, Madison, Appleton, Wrightstown (all in Wisconsin)

Four TV shows you love to watch: Family Guy, The Simpsons, South Park, The Office, 24, American Idol, Best Week Ever, Six Feet Under, Sex & the City, Nip/Tuck, Real Time with Bill Maher, Lost

Four places you’ve been on vacation: Florence, WI (at least once a year); Breckinridge, CO; Ireland; San Diego, CA

Four websites you visit daily: Apple, U2.com, @U2.com, Yahoo News > Technology > Apple/Macintosh

Four of your favorite foods: french fries, hamburgers, pizza, pasta, pretzels

Four places you’d rather be: with my nephews, with my friends, Ireland, on the top of some mountain in Colorado

Four albums you can’t live without: (This is a tough one for me. It's like asking a mother of 10 her three favorite children.) U2 - Achtung Baby, How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, All That You Can't Leave Behind, The Joshua Tree; The Beatles - The White Album, Let It Be, Abbey Road; George Michael - Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1; Madonna - Ray of Light, R.E.M. - Automatic for the People, Out of Time; Janet Jackson - Rhythm Nation, janet.; Michael Jackson - Bad, Thriller, Willie Nelson - Spirit

Four to pass this meme along to (This meme word is new to me. Apparently, it's what I just filled out and has to be passed on): Bob, Riri, WAT, and John Strain

Well, that was kind of fun -- and an easy way to end the week! Hopefully you've learned a little bit more about me. In the spirit of National Delurking week (another thing peculiar only to the blogosphere), drop me a line and stop in where it says "Comments" at the bottom of this post. Tell me some of your favorite things. Have a great weekend!

Friday's Playlist:

1. Ebert & Roeper - Reviews for the Weekend of December 17 - 18, 2005

2. James Newton Howard - King Kong (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

3. U2 - Pop

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I shot the above photo this summer in Scottsdale, AZ. Our company had it's big annual meeting there and I was the staff photographer. I was on a lush golf course when I shot this, but it was over 100 degrees, with high humidity levels. I worked my ass off that week and never stopped sweating. But despite all the work and the ridiculous heat, I could think of a lot of worse ways to get paid than taking photographs in this location, that, at times, almost felt surreal in its incredible beauty. Somebody pulled me aside when this sunset occurred, knowing how much I'd appreciate it. (I have to laugh; in previous photos of Wisconsin sunsets, usually if you see a silo-shaped silhouette on the horizon, it is a silo. In this picture, that phallic little shape along the horizon is actually a cactus.)

At first, I struggled for an idea (and inspiration) to write about tonight. This photo and its description really have nothing to do with anything that happened today other than the sun peaking out for a few hours today and all day yesterday for the first time in 17 days. I also managed to catch a slice of the sunset both nights. I guess I have the sun and Arizona on my mind as I'm hoping to get out to Tucson in the next few months to visit my friends. I'm really looking forward to seeing more of the sun than just the occasional cameo, as well as more than just the mountains from the horizon of a golf course. I put this image up today as a little inspiration for all of you (and for myself) struggling with this January darkness. Tomorrow we are closer to the sun than we are today. Enjoy!

Wednesday's Playlist:

1. R.E.M. - Out Of Time

2. Emmylou Harris - Wrecking Ball

3. Willie Nelson - Spirit

4. U2 - Achtung Baby

5. Madonna - Hung Up (DJ Version)

6. Sheryl Crow - iTunes Originals

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P.S. Thanks to all of you who commented in my previous post. This is still National Delurking Week, so instead of quietly lurking around these pages, stop by for awhile, comment, tell me where you're from, and some of that good jazz! C'mon; I don't bite.

National Delurking Week
January 9, 2006 Monday 8:25 PM
According to The Blue Sloth's website, it's National Delurking Week. What this means is that for those of you who breeze through here each day, and have silently lurked about just to check things out, I encourage you to actually stop by, comment, and at least say hello. I can hear you breathing and would love the feedback! (comments below following post)

Most everybody I talk to at work, as well as the fellow Wisconsinite bloggers I read, is feeling the same way . Here's the problem: It's been something like 18 or 19 days since we've last saw the sun. Despite the rumor that we should be gaining more daylight with each passing day, it's still incredibly dark when I leave in the morning and equally as dark when I get home at night. You know things are messed up when I get excited with the weather forecast for tomorrow that's predicting a temperature of 36. And that's degrees folks. They're also predicting the sun to shine. Could we be so lucky?

The past week or so, this darkness and lack of sunlight is being a constant energy vampire. I feel the whispers and brushes of depression just lurking in the background, waiting to set in. Emotionally, I feel fine, but still can't shake that lingering feeling that it's just waiting to grab hold.

And it's beginning to piss me off.

To help combat matters, I've continued my workout tonight. I had a good intense workout, slowly building upon the things I started last week. I'm amazed at how much energy I have at the moment, just a few hours after my workout. For the next few weeks, or until the sun pops through at least, I really need to focus on these workouts, just to get through these dark days of winter.

I know this is asking a lot, but, please, Mr. Weatherman, don't be wrong.

Monday's Playlist:

1. U2 - How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb

2. Sinead O'Connor - Collaborations

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I started my workout yesterday. I attempted to eat a little bit healthier and actually went to the gym again today. I didn't do anything extreme, just a short workout to get back into the swing of things and get reacquainted with the gym culture (my there are a lot of iPods being used these day!). Today, I added a couple of minutes to the workout and plan to do so every day, continually building a better regiment. My legs were actually pretty stiff last night. I'm taking baby steps right now, just phasing into it. I've done this before...

Since my body still thinks it's on vacation, I've been having a hard time falling asleep at a reasonable hour. Unfortunately, that's been making it a challenge to get out of bed in the morning. Between the dark weather I wake up to, the change in my sleep schedule, and the new workout added to my day, I've been pretty exhausted. It's felt like three days in a row of Mondays.

Tomorrow I have to go to Chicago for work for a few days. It's been hard enough getting back into the swing of things right now. A business trip full of team building "activities" and future planning just makes things all the more challenging this time of the year.

Oh well, enough of the whining. Hopefully you're easing into the new year with a little less resistance.

Wednesday's Playlist:

1. James Newton Howard - King Kong (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

2. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Soundtrack from the Motion Picture

3. U2 - How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb

4. Alanis Morisette - The Collection

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• In Star Wars, Anakin Skywalker is "The Chosen One." The prophecy states that he will bring balance to the force.
• In The Lord of the Rings, Frodo Baggins, a simple little hobbit, becomes a ring bearer. He is later told that this task was placed before him. It was his destiny to destroy the ring of all-consuming power and save Middle Earth.
• In The Matrix, Neo is "The One," a special being, capable of unique abilities that can bend the fibre of reality itself, which was foreseen to happen. The prophecy declared that this individual would come forth and free the citizens of the world from the slavery of the matrix, and in turn, save Xion, the last civilization.
• And now there's The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. As soon as the little girl goes through the wardrobe, there are whispers of the arrival of the "sons of Adam" and "daughters of Eve" -- the humans who will save Narnia from the white witch. Their arrival was destined to be. They were the chosen ones to save that land.

It's amazing, when I look at them all at once, how similar the stories and characters' journeys are. The religious themes are pretty obvious. The concept that a chosen one will someday (or once again) come to save a (our) world crosses many religions. It's incredible that these themes of prophecy, fate, redemption, and salvation are so deeply rooted in our mythology and in turn, our popular culture. Ultimately, I guess, that is the human struggle; it's what all tales are based on, one way or another.

What's always intrigued me about these stories is the concept of being chosen, almost touched, if you will, by a greater power, and having a fate literally placed before you. These movies are about having a greater purpose in life and trying to figure out what that purpose is. At one point in our lives, we've all had that question.

With the new year barreling full speed ahead, it's hard for me not to ponder the greater themes of my life. What is my purpose here on this planet? What am I destined to do, destined to become? How do I fit in the overall picture of this lifetime, this planet, this universe?

When I got my job all those years ago (almost 12), I drew the picture you see in this post. The character before you is technically the real, or at least first, incarnation of "G-Man." When I was in college, I drew myself as this super hero. He had the ability to create and manipulate light. He had wild red hair but no mouth. His only communication was with his creation of that light. G-Man was really nothing more than a pumped up self-portrait, kind of from the inside-out. It's how I envision my talent...my special powers, l guess you could call them.

I only worked up a few actual comic books with this character. He eventually became symbolic in my daily sketchbooks of me, my journey, my talent, my dreams, and my light (and, of course, my darkness). My destiny? I'm not sure. I haven't figured out what my prophecy is all about. Yet.

I still haven't found what I'm looking for....

In a lot of way, I feel like I'm one of the chosen ones. I've been given this talent to do something...to make this world a better place. If we all look deep inside, I bet we've all been chosen for one thing or another.

In the grander scheme of things, I need to reconnect with this G-Man guy. I'm on my way, through my drawing, writing, music, and even the creation of the website before you. But G-Man is a super hero. He is much greater than all of this. He's about light. I need to recapture that light. Or at least my light.

I'm not sure what my prophecy states, or what I was chosen to do, but I know it begins with the talent that placed before me.

Tuesday's Playlist:

1. James Newton Howard - King Kong (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

2. U2 - How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb

3. Oasis - (What's The Story) Morning Glory?

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P.S. Check out the media part of my site if you're into the King Kong movie and want some cool new desktops for your computer. I picked up the soundtrack last night and converted some images into wallpaper's for all y'all to share and spruce up your PCs.

P.P.S. Isn't Harry Potter a chosen one of sorts too? Gosh, that theme is everywhere.

I laughed to myself at my funny little observation. But then I had another thought that kind of caught me off guard and has been on my mind all day:

Almost all of my resolutions this year are things I'm doing to play catch up with things that I failed to do last year.

I did the drawing in this post 14 years ago. I had a year left to go in college, and literally felt like I was on top of the world. I had no resolutions that year, only goals for my future which were huge. I wanted to finish college, graduate, and get a good job in my profession. The sky was the limit.

Those goals were met. So now what?

As I get older, I find myself sometimes playing it safe, going through the motions. What happened to those larger goals, the ones that always forwarded me to higher phases in my life? I'll turn 35 this May, and my only real goals are things like loosing weight, keeping a cleaner house, saving money better, etc. Quite typical goals, really, but nothing that's going to blast me into the stratosphere, that's for sure.

What happened to that dreamer, that watcher who felt like he was sitting on the top of the world, watching it all go by, hoping to make it a better place? Where's that kid who thought big and knew the sky was the limit?

Somehow with my job and my career, I've become quite comfortable. I've been with the same company for almost 12 years. I have learned much and expanded my horizons infinitely with increased knowledge. But am I letting things get too stagnant, too stale?

As I think of these New Years resolutions, I'm slightly bothered by how many things in my life I want to change or am unhappy with in one way or another. I'd like to lose at least 30, if not 40 lbs. this year. How did I get that out of shape? I'd like to keep an immaculate house, and somehow stay as organized with things as I am at work. How did I become this pack-rat with one too many shelves of clutter? The new year should be about setting new goals, looking forward to new plateaus and new opportunities. It shouldn't be meant to play catch up to all the things I let slide in 2005.

I don't want my life to accumulate to a list of things I always wished I could have done better or should have done period.

So with that, the original list of resolutions still has to happen. In a way, there's no room for failure. These things are necessities in one form or another. But what I need to do on a much greater scale is look at my potential, start thinking about my life in a far grander scheme. I need to be serious about my future, as well as my place on this earth and the best way possible to utilize my short time here on it.

Goodness...now those are quite the resolutions. Amazing how tiny I feel when it when I start looking at things from the top of the world. All I can do is try....

Happy new year! 2006 baby!

Monday's Playlist:

1. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Soundtrack from the Motion Picture

2. King Kong (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) - James Newton Howard

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P.S. Be sure to check out the December archives. December was a full month of writing. I somehow found a new inspiration as people started to add comments to these pages. Besides a lot of hearty posts, I managed to add a few snap shots at the end of the month, and completed another podcast that I'm pretty proud of and feel is getting more polished than the last. I also added a bunch of desktops to my media site, really trying to get some of my art as well as the art of things I love out there. That's just one of many things I hope to do more of in 2006. When one door opens...