As time moved on, things changed in the class. A large group of the regulars changed their directions and started to go to school to be professional painters. As their work and skills bloomed beyond belief, I saw less and less of them. It was an unfortunate but necessary side effect of them honing their craft. Eventually, though, I was the only person showing up at class which was over 30 miles for me to get to. Quite often, our models wouldn't show up and/or class would be cancelled. Because of all that, my attendance weaned and eventually stopped about a year ago. Things change. People change. Life changes.

My time in those art classes was an amazing thing. It got me off my ass and relit the creativity inside of me. The unfortunate side effect for me was that around the time I stopped attending the classes, my journal entries became fewer and fewer as well. I realize now that the drawing and art was the fuel that charged my writing, both equally important form of expression in my life. When I look at the urgency of my old posts and all the writing I did back then, I feel slightly sad and ashamed of myself that I've shunned this part of me aside. But it's never too late to start again, is it?

My focus on these pages has changed. And if it hasn't, it has to. I have changed. But my creativity is still alive and well. Nowadays it seems like my path has taken me to making videos; it's where my creative focus has been. Lately if I'm not recording a new vid, I'm thinking about or planning for my next one. These videos aren't that huge a change from what I used to do either. A lot of them are just video journal entries instead of written ones...perhaps an easier way to express myself, perhaps just the latest trend. But now instead of me feeling sad and ashamed for the new direction my art has taken me, I want to embrace it for what it is and where it will take me. It's opened up my mind in new and exciting ways. I feel that excitement and sense of being alive like I did back when I first started drawing again. And that certainly isn't a bad thing.

I do want to keep this journal alive. I want it to be the documentation of whatever direction my life takes artistically, whatever form that may be. So now, the struggle is to juggle whatever form my art may take without ignoring the documentation side of things. Realistically, that is bound to happen from time to time.

I'd ask you all to stick with me through this -- I first need to reassure myself that I'll stick with it as well. Oh well.

:)

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It's not like I haven't been on the internet. Quite the opposite really. I've been busy over at YouTube posting videos and generating a presence there. Here's a link to my "channel" as they call it. This past summer on this site, I made the leap from audio podcasts and created my first video podcast (the originals can be found in the media section of my site). I knew YouTube was a great way to quickly post those files on the web to share. What I didn't realize was that there's a whole community of people doing the same type of thing. Over there, it's not called podcasting or video podcasting -- it's called "vlogging" (short for video logging/blogging just like "blog" was short for web log). The cool thing about YouTube is there's a real community side of it. Not only do people post video blogs to share, but a lot of people either comments or make video responses to your videos, creating a real dialogue. There's a real international aspect to the site as well. It seems like over half of the people who subscribe to my channel are from across the pond. How cool is that, communicating and creating a dialogue with people from Brazil, England, Ireland, Scotland, Denmark, etc.? I've had a YouTube account since the early days of YouTube (a year ago!), but have only really started becoming active with the vlogging side of things right after Christmas. Now I'm creating at least two or three videos a week. Thanks to this MacBook that I'm working on at this very moment, I can talk directing into my computer with it's built in iSight camera and record and edit my posts that way. At times, of course, I get out my mini DV cam (a lot more these days than ever before), record the world around me, and edit an actual movie, with music, effects, and the whole nine yards. There's a 10 minute limit to posting videos, so it's a good exercise in being succinct, which has helped me greatly with public speaking and composing my thoughts quickly for work. YouTube has become a slight addiction, but has also harvested a real creative spark within me.

Now sadly enough, I haven't been posting on here much at all -- nor have I been doing much of my art. None really. And I'm not sure what gives. As I sit here typing away (at my favorite Appleton coffee shop, I might add), I still realize how much I love writing down my thoughts. There's something very immediate and personal about it (even though I'm posting these words for the world to see. Perhaps just the actual act of writing out my thoughts is what feels so personal.). I don't want to cast this website aside, it means far too much to me. But just so you're all aware, I haven't cast aside my creativity. Oh no -- that's alive and well. For now, I just happen to be getting my creative fix over at "the 'Tube" or "YT" as a lot of people call it over there.

I liken what I'm doing to simply a creative phase. I think of U2's music in the 90s. They did an about-face and completely switched how they were doing things. Madonna had her techno phase and Neil Young had his experimental phase. Picasso had his blue period and Andy Warhol had his movie phase. I see artists all the time changing how they do things, which helps them regenerate ideas and stay fresh.

But with that, I haven't lost faith in this site. I'll probably start posting all of my videos, even the lot of them that are YouTube-community-specific. I'll probably update and post them in my media section without actually updating this journal all the time. My original intent for the design of this site was for it to be a portal to all the different facets of my art, not just the journal. Although I have to admit, I really do need to adjust my focus slightly and not completely abandon the written word. It feels quite good to sink my teeth into these words.

So for now, have patience with me dear reader. I'm far from down and/or out. I've just been refocused slightly. On the positive side, my creativity is alive and well. Quite well. I just wish there was enough time in my day to express myself in all of the different ways I know how. Oh well. :)

I could have far worse problems in this world than an over-abundance of creativity!

That's all for now. Hopefully I'll talk to you soon. Peace!

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Anyway, the iPhone has the rumored widescreen iPod built into it. It's a beautiful, amazing, wonderful, innovative device. It's all touch screen and runs the internet (wi-fi), chat, video, photos, music, has a digital camera, bluetooth, and oh yeah, it's a phone too. It's remimagined the phone in a way that seems so obvious now that no other phone has other done. The phone itself runs Apple's very own OSX -- its an actual computer in there. I can't gush about the design enough. There are a few things about, though, that I'm not quite so hot on yet:

1. The price. There are two versions, a 4 gig and 8 gig for $499 and $599. That's a bit too much for me (although certainly not over-priced when you see all that it does). Give it a couple years, though. I paid $500 for my iPod three years ago and can get almost three times the storage on one now for $100 less. Yeah, I'll wait a bit.
2. The drive sizes. So this thing can run audio and video, but only holds as much as much as a Nano. If you're running movies or TV shows on it, that seems small to me. My Nano is small to me right now, and I don't have any video on it. Once again, though, give this a few years when RAM and HD prices drop as they always do -- it will be up to 100 gig like that rest of them before you know it.
3. The cell phone part of it only works with Cingular. I have a contract with Cingular, but am far from pleased with my coverage or service. With the iPhone, you need a two-year contract. That blows too. I was hoping they'd have some type of open-ended thing where you could choose your carrier. Again, in a few years, if this dominates the market, this could be a possibility. And to be honest, the phone part of it is cool, but I'm just not into my cell phone or cell phones in general. If they had a stripped down version of all this without the phone for $100 less, I'd buy it in a heart beat!
4. The built-in digital camera. Right now, the built-in camera is two megapixels. Most digital cameras these days are at least five. Granted, cell phone pictures have always been crap and much less in resolution, but I was hoping Apple would push the limits with this as they're know for their graphics. All of the Macs now come standard with a built-in iSight webcam (about 3 mm square, built right into the frame of this laptop I'm typing on). The quality of this cam is excellent -- the best I've seen. I was hoping to see that type of quality in the digital camera which I was also hoping to be a video camera right away.

As this product evolves, all of these bugs will be worked out. In five years, this will be the best phone/iPod/handheld computer on the market. The prices will drop, memory, storage, and megapixels will expand. For now, I'll watch this innovation take off. Apple truly created an amazing product. And much like the iPod five years ago, people have mixed feelings about it. I was reading a discussion board thread from five years ago when Apple launched the iPod. Many of the critiques where just bitching and moaning (who needs another mp3 player on the market!?!?). Now of course, it's the icon of our generation. When I look at this phone, and consider that the technology of it is at its infancy, I get excited about the future and technology. Where is this going to be in 2010??

And also as a positive, I see all of these innovations as trickling down into the iPod line and probably even some laptops, PDAs and tablets. I wanted a widescreen, touch screen iPod. Right now, the only way you can get it is on this phone. A couple years ago, all iPods had black and white displays. Then they came out with a higher end model called the iPod Photo, which was in color and displayed photos and album artwork. Four months later, all iPods did this. That's how technology works. I have a feeling that Apple will integrate these innovations from the iPod part of the iPhone over to the iPod line before the start of summer. And THEN, that when the $400 that I was planning on spending yesterday, will be a thing of the past!

Steve Jobs has a possee.

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So in this state of being off by about a week with the holidays, here's a little end of 2006 list I thought up the other day on my couple hour drive to visit some friends. Here are the first annual, G-Man Awards - My personal favorites for 2006:

Song of the Year: "SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake. I can't deny it, as much as I'd like to. This is a catchy, and cool, song. Runners up include "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol, "Ain't No Other Man" by Christina Agularia, "Window in the Skies" by U2 (just a little too late guys!), "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, and "The Age of Aquarius" by The 5th Dimension. The last two are both older songs, but somehow racked up major plays on my iPod this year.

Album of the Year: Eyes Open by Snow Patrol. Runners up include Back to Basics by Christina Aguilera, Futuresex/Lovesounds by Justin Timberlake, 9 by Damien Rice, and American V: A Hundred Highways by Johnny Cash (a brilliant but devastating piece of work). The Beetles Love ends the year strong too, but I can't justify it as the best since it's merely a repacking/remixing of songs -- but still, a real masterpiece.

Band/Artist of the Year: Last year, I came across this band called Snow Patrol. I'm not even sure if their album came out in 2005 or 2006. But they touched me this year in a way that is quite rare with bands. They lift me up in a way that only U2 can, and the similarities don't stop there.

Favorite TV Show: Hands down, The Office. Each season gets better and better. Also the most quotable show of 2006 (heck, since Seinfeld!). I love the subtleties of this show, how it strikes a little too close to my real life office, and how at its core, has a real heart. Runners up include 24 and American Idol, both getting stronger with age.

Guiltiest Pleasure: Flavor of Love. I'm amazed what these women will do just get on TV. New York, Pumpkin, Delichious? Where do I begin? What is TV coming to (and why do I watch this crap!?!)?

Best movie: It's a toss up this year. Little Miss Sunshine AND V for Vendetta. Cars was close for the top spot, but I love how Little Miss Sunshine and V for Vendetta seemed to came out of nowhere. LMS is a sensitive movie, very smart, quirky, character-driven and just different enough. It's use of music stood out to me as well. V just blew me away with its unique storytelling and poignant story for these dark times. Also close to the top of the list, which I never even made it to see in the theaters was Clerks II. I had my reservations about this Kevin Smith sequel. I LOVE all of his movies but got soured by how he washed his hands of Jersey Girl, which really wasn't that bad. I was pleasantly surprised with Clerks II.

Best DVD: The Office Season 2. This 22-episode set has hours over extras that aren't just filler but are equally as hilarious. Runners up include Lost Season 2 and The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Another movie that is getting better with multiple viewings but just got overshadowed by Lord of the Rings.

That's all for now. I'm fried. NOW I'm ready for 2007. Bring it on!

Monday's playlist:

1. Clerks II - Soundtrack

2. Six Feet Under, Vol. 2: Everything's Ends - Soundtrack

3. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy - Howard Shore

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P.S. What's your list? I have a feeling if I re-wrote this post tomorrow, a lot of it would change!

P.S. Be sure to check out the um... October/November/December archives. I had a bit of a draught there, which explains why the last three months of 06 are consolidated into one page. But hey, that's how things go. I'm still here! When one door opens.....